Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
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Top comments
joefrazier 20
Well... It is the World Cup.
LotsOfConfusion 9
Something tells me that an infinite number of women an relate to this FML these days!
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Comments (164)
jacoposki 16
totally ydi. wrong timing, be happy that he noticed and complimented you.
DogeMan 14
Nothing separates a man and his sports
siggy_mcsigx 22
Heh :) if this were me, I'd stay in the sexy outfit, get us some wine or beer and snuggle up next to him and watch it too! Oooh ooh or maybe play a drinking/stripping game together where if some team or player did something in particular we'd have to take a drink and remove a layer of clothing. That's practically my ideal foreplay :P
loathingloser 14
I watch Football not El Futbol
avila_boy22 12
dem hispanics
MikeyLean 8
Well duhhh it only comes every fours years!!. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!
KingreX32 21
world cup comes once every four years. cut him some slack.
can_you_not_ 10
Priorities
BDA_fml 5
Doggy Style!! That way you can both watch the game!
Z3R0G5 23
It's the World Cup...YDI