Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
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Top comments
joefrazier 20
Well... It is the World Cup.
LotsOfConfusion 9
Something tells me that an infinite number of women an relate to this FML these days!
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Comments (164)
junkman6 22
I can understand how a soccer fan feels during the World Cup when regular season football makes me ignore most other things. I personally hate professional soccer. The flops, dives, and phantom injuries ruin a good sport. Yet I still somehow get excited when the World Cup comes around. I can't imagine how hyped actual fans must be during the World Cup. Moral of the story, men think about more than just food and sex.... Occasionally.
ginger196 14
Hahaha cut off the power to the TV
spatula232 25
Cause that's gonna put a guy in a good mood wouldn't it?
SweetasCandy0609 28
#13 no wonder got don't understand you are only 13 maybe 14 years old come talk to us when you get older maybe you will understand better.
ihavenolifehaha 16
#24 - I would thumbs up your comment, but the horrible grammar in it annoys me.
SmoothPancakes 10
Um yeah, that would just piss me off instead of making me say "OK, let's go to the bedroom". You got a lot of learning yet to do.
Nmaredia 4
I really don't understand what it's with people and sports
ksuth 25
Sports are something for people to get excited and passionate about :) from the way my boyfriend yells at the TV during hockey season it also makes me believe it's a good stress reliever lol
MandyMeow_fml 18
Don't be too upset I mean it's the World Cup! It's kind of a big deal.
sarah2424 2
That's not true. Every game Holland has played ends up with a score. Against Spain- 5-1, against a Australia 3-2, Chile, 2-0, and Mexico -2-1. So no, not every soccer team ends in a tie.
meli1195 31
Im guessing you don't watch much futbol do you?
liffagain 16
It doesn't even matter what was on TV. If he was obviously very into it and you saw that, YDI. He expressed his affection but was in the middle of something that he enjoys too. You should respect that. There's no need to be insulted or feel rejected.
crandel 11
Why not just try to be seductive when he's not busy doing something else? Really don't get why you'd expect him to drop whatever he's doing just because you're in the mood.
DjeePee 25
Maybe because you don't stay in the mood for an entire day... I understand both sides. You don't get a self-esteemboost if your partner chooses tv over sex with you, but sex may never be an obligation.
McBird 5
Is there something you really like? Let's take shopping for example. If he calls you and tells you he would like some right now, you don't drop everything, leave your friends and run home either... He's got his own things and his own life, and your part of it, but not the whole of it. Just like he is part of your life, but not your entire life as well.
larrena2377 26
If I was shopping and he called for sex, I'd drop what I was doing and get my ass home. There's plenty of time during the day for normal activities, but you're not always in the mood for sex.
cakefete2 31
If you're being sarcastic, it was lost on me. If you're being serious, that's a sexy response and your SO is lucky.
RedPillSucks 33
@61 booty call, or **** buddy?
larrena2377 26
I wasn't being sarcastic at all
worldclassrager 41
Guys and sports sorry OP you'll find a time probably that evening is a better shot
91hayek 31
What is it with FMLs where girls are trying to get affection when guys are right in the middle of something that is quite involved - tv, gaming, eating? Don't feel unloved, the game or meal will end and he'll still love you afterwards. However the world cup ends on the 13th so OP's gotta tough it out until then and then she's in the clear for four years at the very least.
juturnaamo 29
That is bizarre. Men get turned down plenty, but if a woman gets turned down, she acts like her world is shattered.
Kyna_Bitch 16
Honestly? This was me when Mexico was playing and my husband wanted to do stuff