Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library when I noticed a buzzing sound. I ignored it, but it kept going. I looked around, but nobody else seemed to notice. After 5 minutes of searching, I realized the buzzing was coming from my backpack. My electric toothbrush had turned itself on and was rattling around. Everyone watched me pull out a vibrating bag. FML
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
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Top comments
\ 28
Why is it that everyone seems so quick to judge??
PenguinBitch 44
Colorful names huh? "How dare you bring that vibrator you greenish, pinkish, orange with a tint of blue!!"
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Comments (109)
\ 28
Why is it that everyone seems so quick to judge??
QQmore_fml 18
You have been judged.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Most people act on impulse.
Sekkaichi 12
It's first impressions. We can't help it. Plus it's OP's family. Family judge each other secretly.
SuperKnuckels 6
Even if it was a sex toy. Its none of her business, unless your sharing that info with her. Sorry for people like that OP.
Reaper1984 13
It could be used as a sex toy if you wanted to I suppose.
AshaaFerreira 22
Even if it was a sex toy I tell my mom I have one if she has an issue to keep it to her self. Ask her would you rather me play with one sex toy or sleep with lots of men.
summerguy97 16
Well...I guess a vibrating toothbrush can be considered a sex toy in some circumstances.
GizmoTennant 2
Women.
AngelSpit 18
Doesn't anyone remember the FML of the guy hearing buzzing in his sisters room and then she comes out and puts HIS toothbrush away in the bathroom??
iluvFMLs15 19
or why it even matters had it been a sex toy
DoWnW4RdsPiR4L 7
Maybe she should take a second to think before calling her daughter such rude things.
wlddog 14
It sounds like mom is over reacting out of guilt. Lots of people think they should feel guilty for having sex toys. They just has a taboo attached to them.
lilhellian 27
It doesn't say a gender. Op could be a man :o
justmyswag 9
I didn't realize people were calling a ******** a tooth now.
ns1985 15
Well a vibrating truth brush can be used in imaginative ways. That is what big bang theory tells us anyway.
boofgall 16
Haha I thought of Amy too!
jackaced 7
Truth brush?
Catkam623 27
You guys obviously missed the joke in that episode it's obviously a toy but Sheldon is too naive to realize what the buzzing sound was.
IIFenix 3
No 30....In one of the episodes Amy said she named her tooth brush to penny....
apaloosa_fml_fml 21
Amy: I call mine Gerard!
annie_nk 23
Anyone else think of Fight Club? "Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But every once in a while it's a *****. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a *****. We have to use the indefinite article, 'a *****', never your *****."
kriz_allizwell 6
You forgot the first rule of fight club, man! You should'nt talk about fight club.
rg350dx 29
20. Yeah it's how Wonder Woman performs her dental care.
mr_sarcastic416 29
I read that in Amy's voice lol
CheeseTron 15
What a buzz-kill... Meh
sux4u121 10
Don't meh yourself so quickly, I enjoyed that one, and it's original, not just an overused pun, that would have been a shitty situation.
rg350dx 29
It was a good pun! I guess 4 thought it was a damned if you *****, damned if you dildon't situation.
TheHarvest 7
how dare you care about your dental hygiene??
nikki_1717_ 8
Ohhh those moments
LaughinStock 16
I'm just going to tag off your comment. I never understood this "taboo" about sex when it came to parents. Your child will eventually grow up and will have sex, over reacting like Op's mother is just plain stupid. Parents need to really have the talk with their child because sex is everywhere and I don't know where I was going with this. Hopefully some of you understand what I was trying to say.
iwadasn 33
Did you click the reply button by mistake or something?
kurodansei 16
Well it could still be.
nikki_1717_ 8
.... Yes ...
MindFreakazoid 10
I didn't know you were into that, OP...
Pussycat86 18
Who said one can't brush herself down there?
DKjazz 20
Ever seen the movie Teeth?
illegalbeagle69 23
ohh noo...
QQmore_fml 18
You can also use that as a sex toy.. just saying.
VasNormandy 14
The amount of shitty parents is too damn high!
TwoOneFive 11
Your mom over thinks.