Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library when I noticed a buzzing sound. I ignored it, but it kept going. I looked around, but nobody else seemed to notice. After 5 minutes of searching, I realized the buzzing was coming from my backpack. My electric toothbrush had turned itself on and was rattling around. Everyone watched me pull out a vibrating bag. FML
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
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Top comments
\ 28
Why is it that everyone seems so quick to judge??
PenguinBitch 44
Colorful names huh? "How dare you bring that vibrator you greenish, pinkish, orange with a tint of blue!!"
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Comments (109)
tarabara17 15
Why is it that most FMLs about family concern crazy mothers?
freshko21 6
Is your mom christian? She sounds like it.
sporty_14 5
lol!
Vidimus 13
Like it should matter if it was a vibrator. It's your taco, not hers.
LunaVamp 6
Pretty much the same thing happened to me except I was on a bus with like 20 people
xRezSynn 15
Moms.......
shrode65 6
Toothbrush makes a GREAT vibrator.
worldclassrager 41
Why would you bring a sex toy on a trip anyway...and you have valid proof it was not a vibrator...
allplayedout 20
If you've hit puberty there's no reason why it'd be wrong for you to own a vibrator anyway. Your mom is the weird one.
TheShadyMilkman 15
If you knew you were going to get berated, you should have just packed the package anyways... Hindsight is always 20/20