Awkward, Sextoys and Intimacy: Assumptions

Assumptions

By oops - 08/05/2013 14:44 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 573

You deserved it 5 686

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Same thing different taste

By jess - 30/04/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 135

You deserved it 10 118

By quadropheniac - 09/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 484

You deserved it 8 103

No fun allowed

By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 360

You deserved it 2 281

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 701

You deserved it 15 192

By Anonymous - 30/11/2017 22:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 812

You deserved it 558

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 177

You deserved it 2 049

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 395

You deserved it 1 581

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 619

You deserved it 10 410

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 340

You deserved it 357

By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 379

You deserved it 1 912

\ 28

Wednesday 8 May 2013 19:16

Why is it that everyone seems so quick to judge??

PenguinBitch 43

Wednesday 8 May 2013 19:21

Colorful names huh? "How dare you bring that vibrator you greenish, pinkish, orange with a tint of blue!!"

Comments

Marakie 16

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:35

R u sure??

23Z9TZO 18

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:51

What's wrong with a sex toy anyway?

FML_14u2c 14

Thursday 9 May 2013 0:20

I guess OPs mom didn't want any competition with the sex toys. (She probably packed her own.)

Ella_fml 17

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:16

Ouch. Way to assume. At least it was just a scene at home and not at the airport. I've been held at customs, like 10 yrs ago, and asked why I'm bringing a small electrical object and what it was for (thinking it was some kind of spy device). They actually thought I was hiding something... Until they opened the bag and saw my toothbrush.

rhysfucker 24

Thursday 9 May 2013 2:31

Please be a guy...so much funnier if OP is a guy.

mildredpierce 12

Thursday 9 May 2013 2:49

Sounds like your mum needs an "electric toothbrush" herself.

WonkeyDonkey 10

Thursday 9 May 2013 3:09

I had the same sort of thing happen with an electric hair trimmer. It was on my couch and must of accidentally fell between the cushions. My daughters therapist came out to visit and sat down and next thing the couch was vibrating/buzzing. She upped and left before she gave me the opportunity to explain what it was and show her. I'm sure the whole school thinks I'm some sort of kinky nympho now :/