Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library when I noticed a buzzing sound. I ignored it, but it kept going. I looked around, but nobody else seemed to notice. After 5 minutes of searching, I realized the buzzing was coming from my backpack. My electric toothbrush had turned itself on and was rattling around. Everyone watched me pull out a vibrating bag. FML
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
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Top comments
\ 28
Why is it that everyone seems so quick to judge??
PenguinBitch 44
Colorful names huh? "How dare you bring that vibrator you greenish, pinkish, orange with a tint of blue!!"
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Comments (109)
Marakie 16
R u sure??
23Z9TZO 18
What's wrong with a sex toy anyway?
FML_14u2c 14
I guess OPs mom didn't want any competition with the sex toys. (She probably packed her own.)
Ella_fml 17
Ouch. Way to assume. At least it was just a scene at home and not at the airport. I've been held at customs, like 10 yrs ago, and asked why I'm bringing a small electrical object and what it was for (thinking it was some kind of spy device). They actually thought I was hiding something... Until they opened the bag and saw my toothbrush.
rhysfucker 24
Please be a guy...so much funnier if OP is a guy.
mildredpierce 12
Sounds like your mum needs an "electric toothbrush" herself.
WonkeyDonkey 10
I had the same sort of thing happen with an electric hair trimmer. It was on my couch and must of accidentally fell between the cushions. My daughters therapist came out to visit and sat down and next thing the couch was vibrating/buzzing. She upped and left before she gave me the opportunity to explain what it was and show her. I'm sure the whole school thinks I'm some sort of kinky nympho now :/
iwadasn 33
Why didn't you just show her what it really was?
Xotoolyxo 16
Your mom must be feeling guilty about having her vibrator in her bag
ckcortez 10
I feel like I've read this FML before.