Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean your mom won't walk into your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML
Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Yellow_Fish79 11
"Don't worry, he's not as big as your husband."
cash_monkey72 9
But then you compliment her on her cooking and it's all good.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (190)
cash_monkey72 9
But then you compliment her on her cooking and it's all good.
yahoowizard 16
"Oh, you liked the steak I prepared? Well then, I'll let you two both get back to doing what my son does best"
zoPwNAgEzo 21
23 - I'd hope the mom wouldn't say that. It makes it sound like she knows from experience.
ImmaB3AST 7
You know, as a kid I was taught to say sorry when someone said what do you have to say for yourself. It's second nature for me. Besides, what mom wants to hear that their son has sex like a tiger?
Enslaved 38
Not many moms-- but I know plenty of dads that would have a "that's my boy!" attitude. However they'd feel different towards their daughter! Double standards at its best.
imavelociraptor 6
Goodness!!! Does anybody wait until marriage anymore??? Ya' bunch o' ******!!!
MDTeddy 13
Parents have to realize that a boyfriend and girlfriend like to have sex. It is completely normal. At least it isn't anyone cheating.
loclinton 8
Hey...she asked
klovemachine 24
I like her answer :) at least she didn't ask the mom to join them :O
domking1315 20
Who would have a threesome with their mom...
biglittlehead 12
Number 77 would I guess.
flutter4 7
Too much info :)
klovemachine 24
No sir 121 I would not :( oh and my first comment was awesome :)
saIty 17
Is "are you ******* sorry" acceptable?
ydi_4_suking 20
Did that fml get deleted?
loclinton 8
Looks like it. Too bad, that one really made me chuckle
007type 26
15- Yup, deleted
ydi_4_suking 20
that one and the other fml with the mom showing her breast were pretty funny. it sucks they got deleted
samreimer 7
It could be worse. You could've said "I've had better."
Calyx_fml 22
Or "He likes to call me Mommy".
DocBastard 40
This is only one of approximately 7259 reasons not to have sex in your parents' (or your boyfriend's parents') house. You deserve to get caught, thrown out, and embarrassed. Common sense is dreadfully uncommon these days.
TrueTriage 16
Ah crap I can't remember #2174 again....
007type 26
18- You might walk on your BF/GF's parents having sex.
MrSassypants 34
26, how are you going to walk in on them having sex when you're having sex? Is this a new style where you walk while having sex into random rooms now?
007type 26
32- You may want to take a leak afterwards... As I recall happened in some previous FML.
madskittlesftw 5
32- Thats completely irrelevant. They're talking about having sex not after. *face palm*
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Sex isn't a vile act that should be avoided; but I agree, that all should be weary when having it at home!
IndigoArkanian 4
Wary*
BntyHntrSeattle 30
55- Aside from your wont to publicly shame me, thank-you for the correction.
lucyy123 14
I agree with you! And to OP YDI because I don't think it's a good choice to tell the mom that hes good in bed?!
Qandol 26
#32, you haven't tired this new style of sex yet? The walking while having sex! Then your missing out a lot in this world buddy.
FilleNoir 21
When you want to correct some one, know how the word is spelled...
DocBastard 40
FilleNoir - When you want to correct someone on a long comment thread, specify who the **** you're talking to.
weeabaka 6
AMEN.
onlychildFTW 34
Sex in the parents house. Just a bad idea all around. It's a major risk you run.
bstudds 1
sometimes that's the fun part, just saying.
zandalee 20
Not if grandpa's around... You know, the one who likes fisting girls... *shudder*
NissanDriftKing 4
I do it at her parents house all the time... Just have to wait until their asleep...
little_one 20
I ****** my husband day or night or whenever, when he still lived at home and at that time was just my boyfriend. Yes no one wants to hear people having sex but they are going to have sex no matter what. They should feel safe. Sex is normal just don't leave your door open so your sister can see and put on loud music.
LLZNH 1
#74 - I totally agree! Cute profile pic btw, who doesn't love Nialler c;
Geekyandproud 19
Me. And about 6 billion others at least.
Yellow_Fish79 11
"Don't worry, he's not as big as your husband."
TimbitsPrice 3
Best reply ever...
iGrassYourSister 6
prolly most bullshit thing you could come up with. does fml tards realy think that this was so edgy that it had to be thumbed up to be nr1? sad, sad people.
hunterfisher98 8
This is gold
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Op's BF's Mom: GTFO, LITTLE *****.
calilovergirl 4
That's what you get for sleeping with... 1. A guy that still lives with his parents 2. A guy when his mom is at home! Ydi
soccerguy2 11
You don't know how old the guy is or if he even has the money to move out. He might be living with his parents through college. So don't say that's what she gets for sleeping with a guy who lives with his parents.
SpicyDuck 22
It really depends on the parents.
dragonstrike94 8
My parents would just say keep it quiet
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Well my dad would come at us with a rifle and tell him he has five seconds to get out of his sight.
outoftown 27
#7, I'd amend 1: Add "and doesn't have the sense to put a lock on his bedroom door and use it."
commonlogicz42 6
75- your profile says your 14. Damn straight your dad would be busting in rifle in hand. Just because the media wants you to be a **** doesn't mean you have to be. Any good father would flip if his 14 year old daughter was bumping uglies.
SooperSuper 2
He might me be a kid for all we know.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
124- That was my point exactly. It wouldn't matter if I was 24. My dad still wouldn't want me having sex in his house. And I'm not a ****. I'm a virgin.
sens3sfailing 25
Thank god you are. I hate how 14 year olds now a days think they are so mature and start doing drugs and drinking and having sex to be cool like older kids. That's how a majority of my town is now a day. We had an 8th grader and a freshman taken to the hospital from the school because they had alcohol poisoning. They aren't even smart enough to wait until school is over. I weep for their future.
tomhofer 14
I am tempted to say ask her to join in but I won't
yahoowizard 16
Still didn't hold back completely, downvoted
Jaxx66 21
But.... You did say it...
realeah 4
Shouldn't have done it, son... Should have trusted your instinct on this one...
zander4310 5
ew......
mbusey 20
I think this is my new favorite FML
asleepingbear 8
Why, I have read much better ones
mrnuleef 7
My favorite is "how about some blue shut the **** up!"
ilovefall10 21
Why do people think having sex with others in the house (Especially parents) is a good idea? It's just rude! YDI.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You just need to keep the noise down and the door locked. I never got caught in the act even though other people were in the house.
ygdrassil 17
It depends on how many people are around and how big the house is.
saksxalmo 20
As long as they don't have to see it or hear it, I don't see what's wrong with having sex in someone else's house (assuming you actually live there and aren't just breaking in of course.) The way OP worded it made it seem like they're both adults, but her boyfriend just happens to live with his mom (and there are plenty of reasons for this.) If anything, it was rude of the mom to interrupt the way she did (making OP get dressed and "explain herself" as though the mom has never had sex before.) And #47, epic name. :)
QuiProQuo_fml 1
The same damn reason why your parents think its cool to have sex at 11 pm when you go out to for a midnight snack and hear them in the kitchen.
saksxalmo 20
Midnight snacks are bad for you, that's your own fault. :P And sex in a public area (like a table, where you have to eat) is gross, so that DOES have to do with respecting others. OP and her boyfriend were in a bedroom. Seriously though, just lock your doors and keep it down. Knock before entering rooms. Problem solved.
saksxalmo 20
Or rather *probably in a bedroom.
thatonename 7
116) so you're saying if all your friends secretly hated you and talked shit behind your back, but you never found out, that's not rude? You're retarded, the act itself is what's rude, not whether or not you get caught. And who the he'll cares if they're adults or not. He still lives with his mommy, being 18 doesn't mean shit. Being self-reliant and having his own house would allow him to do whatever he wanted.
little_one 20
So I should have waited to have sex with my boyfriend now husband before we lived together? Cause having sex is so offensive and disgusting? I wasn't waiting 6 years for that hell I couldn't wait 2 months. But we tried to respect them not be loud and if they had a problem with they never mentioned it. So yeah 116 is right we can't all move out at 18 nor should you feel forced out of your home just to have sex.