Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean your mom won't walk into your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML
Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
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Top comments
Yellow_Fish79 11
"Don't worry, he's not as big as your husband."
cash_monkey72 9
But then you compliment her on her cooking and it's all good.
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Comments (190)
coughyochick 7
Who in the right state of non ******-up brain, would think that's the right thing to say?
ClaremoreZebra 8
Hey, I used to do the dance with my girlfriends family home. But still, you should have tried thinking ahead to where you could have avoided this situation. In any case, your answer put a hell of a smile on my face! Hope the mom forgives you OP!
wildsweetchild 19
Haha...I absolutely love your response! Now you know ;)
AClassActx3 7
Girls having sex in a boys mothers house. Pretty trashy.
Awsumuzzie 12
You do know this FML only had 1 girl, 1 boy, and 1 mother, right?
cash_monkey72 9
So multiple boys lived with multiple mothers under the same roof? Please go back to middle school and learn what an apostrophe is and how to use one.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Not everybody can afford to live on their own either. So perhaps not trashy for that reason?
immason 0
sometimes couples dont have another time you have to work with what you got and im sure op didnt intend to offend her bf's mom
kikijo 2
What does her son have to say for himself? Never you're own child's fault. Typical mom.
zuelhater 7
Looks like mom failed as a parent! Thanks Mom
xxjenn27xx 8
Hahaha i would have said the same shit
Schizomaniac 24
Please sterilize yourself, little girl.
Shrike 24
What, before or after giving a ******* to yet another spliff?
Schizomaniac 24
Dammit, Jen, WHY? The only things you should be saying involve homework, chores, and college applications.
x0xJLYNNx0x 1
That sux! It may be smart to lock the door next time. And for everyone saying its rude to have sex in his moms house blah blah blah you don't know his living situation maybe he pays little rent till he saves up for his own place that will be more expensive then living at home. Either way he is entitled to have people over and it is his room
ned2392 11
Oh my god this is freaking awesome! I wish there was an awesome button!