Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
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Top comments
Margemander 4
Why would you risk it somewhere that you're likely to get caught? Especially after lying to him?
Rhysviri 10
Well aren't you just the charmer. (;
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Comments (257)
Rhysviri 10
Well aren't you just the charmer. (;
KeyboardWarrior 10
Well looks like you wont have to stay for dinner. You've eaten enough, it would seem.
epicwaffles 7
Wait until he makes you give him a "pat of appreciation"
hurtandabused 7
Looks like he's gonna get a slap instead now
HannahMarshall 6
Maybe they were playing doctor?
shanemaximo 7
Well... You were being a gentleman and selflessly tending to his daughters needs. I guess that's a plus.
AnonymousTroll 2
Please specify which head was between her thighs.
FatelBlade 8
According to the post, he said it was his head.
h8rs_get_at_me 4
106- lol you're dumb
Shenannigoats 16
...What?
sr101998 0
It's his dick "head" or his actual head. Fail
Rhysviri 10
You guys stop replying to me to be higher up on the page! >:UUU You sillies.
sweettpie129 11
Hes def a keeper
drdraaman 0
Guys have two heads. Think real long and hard on that one.(yes einstein, innuendo)
LouisianaBob 9
He was taking it slow wasn't he? If I remember my bases correctly.
peepslover 0
183 - I love your pic! :D Harry is my favorite;)
chlorinegreen 27
What's wrong with playing leap frog? It's just a game. Don't take life so seriously pops!!
Margemander 4
Why would you risk it somewhere that you're likely to get caught? Especially after lying to him?
SoSickWithIt 14
Cuz his girlfriend has a very nice tasting pussy. Or were your questions rhetorical?
shrekus 0
And the risk is half the fun!
vegz 0
69 likes
ladyLALAA 29
At least she wasn't giving him head, could have been MUCH worse! :)
guerillazinsuits 1
Men are ******* dumb.
SweetPerfectionn 3
I wonder how he was able to run while he was typing this FML.
MuziKMajoR 5
I wish these fml would tell what happened after that
johnd893 4
Because knowing you could get caught adds more excitement to doing it..
bubbywaldo 0
I think knowing you're not going to get caught makes it better. You can relax and enjoy!
andrewsgirl2010 7
Tell him you where lookin for your contact!
BeefyQueef 5
*were
bigtaytay 13
Wow you're that kinda person? The tool who goes around and corrects people over the internet for their grammar mistakes
AlexxIV 3
There is nothing worse than incorrect grammar
olpally 33
He truly is a beefyqueef.. Grammar Nazi trolls need to get the eff out of here.. Seriously..
untoldfame 3
The holocaust.
candice22_fml 4
Cancer.
The_Troller 14
Your mother.
raney150 0
Or people could learn grammar. I don't know why people get mad at corrections. Even If English isn't your native language. Wouldn't you want someone correcting you so that you could learn? I know when I speak Spanish I want corrections so that I can know in the future.
RaggleFrock 13
I know when I order a KFC you better not come at me with Millie's. m/
andrewsgirl2010 7
Srry im on my phone and it auto corrects
Fml_FTW228 10
98- I'm only doing this because you said that you accept corrections. Your "If" in your reply is capitalized where it is not needed.
holagurl15 11
98 probably accidentally pressed enter instead of space, automatically making the next word capitalized. Not really incorrect grammar.
sweettpie129 11
178- Win.
ankoku 2
Start screaming for help and say it's eating you!
ginglederf 6
Yup because I ALWAYS keep my contacts in my gfs ******... Don't u?
viviblink 4
correction theres nothing worse than grammer nazis
Idonebeenhad 17
Why the hell would you do that while he's home?
DTJames 7
Your picture say it all
danni218 1
The thrill of the possibility of getting caught adds a lil something extra...why do people have sex in public places??
joeytheman 10
Someone had sex at my school the other day.
mauguster 15
Doesnt matter, had sex.
kiran_fml 5
That's why you wait until the parents are gone
princev3 4
Is her dad a guy or a girl?
The_Troller 14
What? How is that related to anything at all?
chaoticxxxmess 3
85- WTF?
sonrisapreciosa 6
That's like asking if her dad is a virgin.
Yodaevil 4
Or till you're a real adult not living at mommy and daddies house...
jbloogle 10
Or lock your doors.
JUICYC 0
Don't worry, that's not how you get a girl pregnant anyways!
BeccaHugs 17
It isn't?! Gee thanks, I had been so confused!
YourBuddyElmo 5
Nope - slow dancing is how the teens get pregnant these days.
maxwells_hammer 5
Well good thing no body slow dances anymore. It's all just bumping and grinding.
yoursucklives 36
google daggering
bizarre_ftw 22
He never said which head
drdraaman 0
You, have just presented a possible predicament....and worse consequences.
sassypants93 17
That seems pretty slow to me, op...
sassypants93 17
It's called sarcasm, people.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Oh we know it's sarcasm, it just sucked.
MeLuvBewbs 7
Tell him you were looking for your contacts.
emmaa3451 11
Original..
sweetpea41800 0
Down there
sweetpea41800 0
Down there???
sr101998 0
Ya from the last time I was there.
braddah112233 1
Comment already stated.... FAIL
xxbobbyfinxx 0
Tell him you're checking for anything abnormal and you care about her hygiene.
upyourzlolz 11
The ecosystem of this ****** is unbalanced!
Calyx_fml 22
Your life sucks... pussy.
eastsidesoldier 7
Gay ass comment....
bootz412 0
You are what you eat
kyz_xox 11
I was just about to say that. You take the words right outta my mouth.