Today, my wife admitted she has fallen in love with a guy who delivers milk and other dairy to our local shop. She is literally cheating on me with the milkman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is indeed cheating on me. Not bad enough? She's sleeping with a guy who squats in a derelict storefront near our house. A hobo stole my wife. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I thought I’d get revenge on my cheating husband by seducing the woman he’s been seeing behind my back. Unfortunately, even though I’ve never been attracted to women, I’ve inexplicably fallen head over heels in love with her. What now? FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I found out my wife has been taking "Love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
What is figurative cheating? If you mean the cliché of ******* the milkman, it's a pretty cheesy one.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Who else has the Cell Block Tango in their heads now (thanks to the part about a woman killing her husband for yelling at her for "screwing the milkman")? :D
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
What is figurative cheating? If you mean the cliché of ******* the milkman, it's a pretty cheesy one.
Marcella1016 32
No idea why, but that gave me some kind of gross visual that I have no idea how to describe.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Who else has the Cell Block Tango in their heads now (thanks to the part about a woman killing her husband for yelling at her for "screwing the milkman")? :D