Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Margemander 4
Why would you risk it somewhere that you're likely to get caught? Especially after lying to him?
Rhysviri 10
Well aren't you just the charmer. (;
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (257)
PaigeyTaylor 2
Oh shit xD
braxdan50 4
Just tell him that you were giving her an australian kiss!
Devin91 20
So much for taking it slow.
agreedtodisagree 4
So, u did take it slowly. Not just started banging her.
mheinrichs0508 0
Hope it tasted good!!!
omgitsshorti 5
You're a keeper in his book.
turbobutt11 0
Say your phone got stuck in there and only your tongue is small enough to get it out. (get ready for everyone to thumb down my comment)
wadehuett 3
you should have never done that! waiting till married is the only way to go!!!
paullywobbles94 4
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or serious... But if you are being serious, people are allowed to make their own choices. If someone wants a sexual relationship how does that really end up affecting you? If you want to (or have) wait until marriage, then that is your own personal choice, but other people have the right to do what they want with their own bodies... so how about you keep your own beliefs to yourself
HendricksProdigy 0
Which head?;);)
Perc_fml 2
Well you gotta start out slow, then faster and then faster and Faster FASTer FASTER FASTER GODDAMMIT