Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Margemander 4
Why would you risk it somewhere that you're likely to get caught? Especially after lying to him?
Rhysviri 10
Well aren't you just the charmer. (;
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (257)
loserman67 36
Well, you're a man of your word, you are taking it slow, rather than just diving in with your **** and violating his daughter, you're taking your time. Some kissing, followed by some feeling, now you're up to the eating part. Then the all important "knocking of the boots"! Make sure you compliment her father for creating such a hot, completely edible, fuckable daughter! Keep up the good work!
faydanielle 2
You've got to start somewhere, regardless of how slow you're taking it! Maybe think about who's home next time.
Calyx_fml 22
Agreed. Taking it slow doesn't mean not taking it at all.
YourBuddyElmo 5
Your FML should probably have read: "Today I was lucky enough to not have my hands broken when my girlfriend's dad caught getting dirty in her bedroom."
Pelreskovich 11
Yeah there's definitely no better time to do that than when he's home. You're an idiot. Wait until he's gone and then strip down.
aFreedom127 9
I prefer the slow lick myself.
FalconCrunch 4
Threesome time?
Pelreskovich 11
No.
j_cat187 20
Goddamn #36 what the **** is wrong with you?
fiz1kaL 6
He's nice to have a daughter dating a nice guy such as yourself. I mean, most guys won't do that sort of thing (I don't see why, but that's another story for another day). But, you managed to get caught, so you're lucky you survived to tell the tale. A complete and through beat-down was well within his rights.
Bullettrane 1
maybe he was just checking for cervical cancer...with his mouth
perdix 31
Convince the old guy that by today's standards, pussy eating just counts as First Base.
smithra9172002 5
If it was my house you wouldn't have been alive to write this FML.