Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex... - FML

By Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 031

You deserved it 7 772

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 220

You deserved it 2 192

By fml_for_real - 04/02/2009 17:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 260

You deserved it 6 906

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 06:26 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 145

You deserved it 4 511

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 077

You deserved it 6 245

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 536

Read the room

By pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Spicy

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 100

You deserved it 5 621

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 603

You deserved it 7 113

Creepy

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 044

You deserved it 50 889

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 287

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 999

You deserved it 17 802

Next

Top comments

hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

Comments

hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

0671241409 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 0:01

lol I was thinking the same thing

Froz3narr0w 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:03

^This.

TripleJumpMan 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:21

^ is

LuxAeterna_fml 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:23

No.

stephyhull 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:39

hahaha exactly

ahole123 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:41

I thought this was weird then I saw that she lives in th UK...

kiwi_xoxo 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:11

I should of taken ur warning but I looked it up anyway... :s I would say the same but my friend told me about the movie human centipede and it's even worse -_- I've never been more disgusted...

JManHobbs 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:57

Try lying in a bath of ice water for an hour beforehand, I hear that makes it even more realistic.

forza_italia88 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 7:50

109 i totally agree! i could hardly watch the whole thing and felt physically sick afterwards :S

goldhighways 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 8:03

human centipede was the lamest movie ever

2fLy4mVp 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 10:32

I ******* hate that movie

LouieLZ 5

Tuesday 8 February 2011 11:17

Shit. Now that IS extreme!! necrophilia, coprophilia and all that stuff is one thing. The human centiped is another level...

psychochick29 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 11:25

Y'know... Ted Bundy did that too.

lizzieislovely 11

Tuesday 8 February 2011 15:02

Are you saying that people from the UK are well known for enjoying sex with corpses? I was never told of this tradition...

monnanon 13

Tuesday 8 February 2011 15:31

#1 its called pseudonecrophilia and its a fetish for things that are seemingly lifeless not actually so.

Craziemami_fml 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 10:19

eww

sovietkiwi 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 15:40

Watch aftermath :)

fml2710 3

Saturday 31 December 2011 7:03

is it viewed as normal in the uk?

Link5794 18

Wednesday 11 July 2012 23:05

Till complete decomposition do us part.

Kyakan 1

Monday 7 February 2011 23:06

He just sounds like he has weird fetishes, this doesn't seem like that much of an FML o.0

gintori 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:06

wow, creep?!

TheDrop 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 2:43

everyone has a fetish. I like girls sitting on my face. but anyways OP obliged to her pimp daddy and played a corpses. Amirite

Guren 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:21

no wonder you pic looks like that!

falluke17 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 7:24

lol

pardonski 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:07

Creeeeeeper.

manzanita2121 6

Monday 7 February 2011 23:08

...yet you liked it.

natvv 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:37

Wut.

bazookajoey 27

Saturday 10 October 2015 10:26

Shut the **** up

mylifesucksserio 15

Monday 7 February 2011 23:09

freak

IHeartJimi02 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:32

Definitely a freak.

lolfish111111 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:12

hmm... useless comment

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 7 February 2011 23:12

Has he watched a German film by the name of Nekromantik recently?

Orange_Poop 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:37

I looked this movie up, and the sequel, and I can honestly say I've never felt so disgusted in my whole life.

kaprookie 3

Tuesday 8 February 2011 11:05

Im guessing its about a german corpse raper?

quite_bored 9

Tuesday 8 February 2011 21:50

WHAT.THE.****.

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

morgh101 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 20:37

true.

MzKylz 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

nice one

Kelita 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:30

freak

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 0:37

Wow , mean much ?

Iskaria 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:20

Yup, more specifically, a nasty self righteous close-minded bitch :) I know I personally would rather be a 'freak' than that :)

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 2:01

haha , me too :)

Jizwold 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 0:43

what'd she say?

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The Top

Today, we had painters in the house. My 4 year-old grandson kept telling me, "Grandpa ate the painter's sandwich." While the painters were running an errand, my husband ate their sandwich, then left to go to work. I was left to explain/apologize to the painters that my husband ate their PB&J. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 83

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 130

The Top

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 827

You deserved it 3 961

Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 898

You deserved it 625

Today, I got home and found my girlfriend in bed with another guy. After the screaming, yelling, and kicking them both out of my house, all I wanted was whiskey. I found the bottle under the bed. It wasn’t enough the guy was porking my girlfriend, he had to drink my booze too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 71

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 231

You deserved it 5 501

Today, I finished an exam in physics class. It counts for 40% of our grade. As I handed my paper in to my teacher, she said to the whole class while talking about me, "You did this wrong; this isn't how you do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 106

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 242

You deserved it 3 635