Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex...

By Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 090

You deserved it 7 795

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 257

You deserved it 2 211

By fml_for_real - 04/02/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 290

You deserved it 6 928

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 06:26 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 196

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 111

You deserved it 6 263

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 665

Read the room

By pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 136

You deserved it 5 628

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 689

You deserved it 7 154

Creepy

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 064

You deserved it 51 021

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 309

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 031

You deserved it 17 819

hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

Comments

noellexxsummers 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:10

If my boyfriend was into necrophilia...I would definitely break up with him. Majorly creepy.

sucks4u918 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:12

wow, that's disgusting

thebigblue 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:23

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE NOW. DUDE IS CRAZY!!!!

hotscar 3

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:32

my thoughts exactly when I read this...

SuBiE21 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:32

That is really creepy... maybe try finding someone that doesn't want to have sex with a corpse... weirdo...

ladypnk85 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:57

Run away!!!!

wlaaf 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:14

that's weird.

jar_89 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:38

Hahahaha I think that's funny, but weird.

yeahreally 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:39

Well. Uhm. Try it? And if you absolutely hate it, never do it again. Or if you're just so freaked out don't. Simple.

dansco 24

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:46

You fella is very sick! He either likes sex with dead people or roofie sex :(

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The Top

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 432

You deserved it 3 522

Today, my Apple Watch notified me that my long-term exposure to loud noises may be dangerous to my hearing. I’ve been crying since my SO left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 206

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 593

You deserved it 2 391

Today, I went in for a doctor's appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 539

You deserved it 9 293

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 079

You deserved it 3 989

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 625

You deserved it 51 734