Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex... - FML

By Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 060

You deserved it 7 787

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 237

You deserved it 2 209

By fml_for_real - 04/02/2009 17:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 271

You deserved it 6 919

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 06:26 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 168

You deserved it 4 518

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 095

You deserved it 6 260

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 615

Read the room

By pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Spicy

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 111

You deserved it 5 623

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 647

You deserved it 7 140

Creepy

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 047

You deserved it 50 915

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 297

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 018

You deserved it 17 811

Next

Top comments

hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

Comments

hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

0671241409 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 0:01

lol I was thinking the same thing

Froz3narr0w 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:03

^This.

TripleJumpMan 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:21

^ is

LuxAeterna_fml 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:23

No.

stephyhull 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:39

hahaha exactly

ahole123 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:41

I thought this was weird then I saw that she lives in th UK...

kiwi_xoxo 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:11

I should of taken ur warning but I looked it up anyway... :s I would say the same but my friend told me about the movie human centipede and it's even worse -_- I've never been more disgusted...

JManHobbs 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:57

Try lying in a bath of ice water for an hour beforehand, I hear that makes it even more realistic.

forza_italia88 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 7:50

109 i totally agree! i could hardly watch the whole thing and felt physically sick afterwards :S

goldhighways 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 8:03

human centipede was the lamest movie ever

2fLy4mVp 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 10:32

I ******* hate that movie

LouieLZ 5

Tuesday 8 February 2011 11:17

Shit. Now that IS extreme!! necrophilia, coprophilia and all that stuff is one thing. The human centiped is another level...

psychochick29 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 11:25

Y'know... Ted Bundy did that too.

lizzieislovely 11

Tuesday 8 February 2011 15:02

Are you saying that people from the UK are well known for enjoying sex with corpses? I was never told of this tradition...

monnanon 13

Tuesday 8 February 2011 15:31

#1 its called pseudonecrophilia and its a fetish for things that are seemingly lifeless not actually so.

Craziemami_fml 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 10:19

eww

sovietkiwi 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 15:40

Watch aftermath :)

fml2710 3

Saturday 31 December 2011 7:03

is it viewed as normal in the uk?

Link5794 18

Wednesday 11 July 2012 23:05

Till complete decomposition do us part.

Kyakan 1

Monday 7 February 2011 23:06

He just sounds like he has weird fetishes, this doesn't seem like that much of an FML o.0

gintori 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:06

wow, creep?!

TheDrop 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 2:43

everyone has a fetish. I like girls sitting on my face. but anyways OP obliged to her pimp daddy and played a corpses. Amirite

Guren 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:21

no wonder you pic looks like that!

falluke17 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 7:24

lol

pardonski 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:07

Creeeeeeper.

manzanita2121 6

Monday 7 February 2011 23:08

...yet you liked it.

natvv 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 1:37

Wut.

bazookajoey 27

Saturday 10 October 2015 10:26

Shut the **** up

mylifesucksserio 15

Monday 7 February 2011 23:09

freak

IHeartJimi02 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:32

Definitely a freak.

lolfish111111 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:12

hmm... useless comment

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 7 February 2011 23:12

Has he watched a German film by the name of Nekromantik recently?

Orange_Poop 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:37

I looked this movie up, and the sequel, and I can honestly say I've never felt so disgusted in my whole life.

kaprookie 3

Tuesday 8 February 2011 11:05

Im guessing its about a german corpse raper?

quite_bored 9

Tuesday 8 February 2011 21:50

WHAT.THE.****.

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

morgh101 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 20:37

true.

MzKylz 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

nice one

Kelita 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:30

freak

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 0:37

Wow , mean much ?

Iskaria 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 19:20

Yup, more specifically, a nasty self righteous close-minded bitch :) I know I personally would rather be a 'freak' than that :)

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 2:01

haha , me too :)

Jizwold 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 0:43

what'd she say?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 327

You deserved it 41 012

The Top

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 139

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 410

You deserved it 32 999

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 761

You deserved it 7 140

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 414

You deserved it 3 562

Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 350

You deserved it 21 996

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 079

You deserved it 2 165