Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

by heheheh / 08/22/2011 at 2:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

by collball22 / 08/22/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

by The captain / 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML

by Username / 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm / United States / Health

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

by pizzachest / 08/19/2011 at 9:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

by c.hip / 08/18/2011 at 11:22pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

by kaitylait / 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML

by AmySweet / 08/18/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

by gb / 08/18/2011 at 1:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

by sadface / 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

by Out of Shape / 08/16/2011 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Health

Today, I found out that if I don't get fillings in at least ten of my teeth within the next year, I could lose them all. I'm 19. FML

by gkid92 / 08/16/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Health

Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML

by Jillian Drute / 08/16/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health