Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML
Today, after countless nights of no sleep and only some spontaneous naps, I was finally seeing a sleeping doctor to analyze the problem. I missed the appointment because I ended up sleeping through my alarm after not being able to sleep at all last night. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML
Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Today, I reached a total of three doctors, one therapist, one psychiatrist, and five prescribed medications, all because my body refuses to let me sleep. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML
Today, my anxiety decided to play a new trick: When I'm trying to go to sleep, I get anxious about having nightmares. It sure does wonders for my insomnia, which I've otherwise completely controlled. FML
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Top comments
ohishkabibble 21
Were you by any chance watching videos of cute baby seals and listening to Rhi today? Because one theory about sleep is that it's about information processing; that is, our dreams are a result of us consolidating memories from our day. For example, that's probably why my girlfriend has so many dreams that play out like video games, since she plays video games every day. Don't worry too much about your weird dreams, OP!
Kamon97 23
It's amazing at how little people pay attention when reading FML's
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Comments (100)
Rizzen 27
yea, I know that feel. hope you can finally get some sleep OP. and please go see a doctor OP
Mightyrif 23
He already said he did... Maybe you should get some meds :b
LittlestPrincess 21
or get off meds ;)
KittenSandwich 9
Did you even read the FML #1?
Futacy 30
Lol, did you only read the first five words?
746278Ab 14
It's time for some medication!
Kamon97 23
It's amazing at how little people pay attention when reading FML's
Amberosia 10
So true. Especially when I have seen several people refer to this OP as "him" when the gender symbol quite obviously identifies the OP as a female.
LalaDee561 8
I think #2 meant it as time to start taking medication AGAIN. at least that's how I first read it.
pugpuggy 21
*Points to the part that said OP took medication.*
Pauschinator 22
It is because the Broncos lost, isn't it?
RedPillSucks 33
Australians probably don't care.
Goblin182 27
Everyone cares about Peyton Manning's legacy.
B1ackthesun 31
Who #30? I have no idea who that is. As an Australian, like op, I can confirm no, not everyone cares. Not even close.
perdix 31
#30, totally! He can't retire after a stinker like yesterday. Sure, his numbers looked good, but they're easy to rack up when you throw 4-yard passes. A stinking turd of a game to cap off an MVP season. Horrible!
ThatFancyPenn 18
Let's not talk about that game.
junkman6 22
They have a better contact sport to worry about. Rugby.
ohishkabibble 21
Were you by any chance watching videos of cute baby seals and listening to Rhi today? Because one theory about sleep is that it's about information processing; that is, our dreams are a result of us consolidating memories from our day. For example, that's probably why my girlfriend has so many dreams that play out like video games, since she plays video games every day. Don't worry too much about your weird dreams, OP!
coklara 15
What's her gamer tag
dachayke 16
#46 probably read #4's comment like: yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada GIRL yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada VIDEO GAMES yada yada yada.
doodlecloud 27
Although I think there is some validity to this theory, sometimes people do just have weird dreams. A lot of my dreams are pretty weird and I can't see any correlation between most of them and real life. It shouldn't be a reason not to sleep though - embrace the dreams OP! (I assume there's more to the insomnia but still)
Fuzy2K 7
There's no real life explanation for the dream I had in which my dad called me on a payphone (as in, I was standing next to a payphone in a mall, and it rang) to tell me he was angry with my sister and wanted me to fill her prosthetic ear with Krazy Glue. I don't even HAVE a sister.
peasonearth 8
medication might be your next step OP, it worked for me after my sleepwalking included me making mac and cheese and spilling the boiling water onto myself
LonerTheWolf35 8
OP has already tried medicine
kieralumina 30
Please re-read the FML. OP did use meds. This is the result of the meds.
CommentModerated 17
The irony, 38. "I finally feel asleep without the help of medication."
FracturedMinds 21
More ironic being corrected by a girl named CommentModerated. At which i giggled slightly.
WhatsOpTic 11
That's just strange girl.
Verst 16
Or, (going our on a limb) she has insomnia.
sdroze1389 31
yeah that does suck, I have insomnia and sleep terror as well. at least you didn't have my last nightmare where I was being eaten alive by roaches :-)
Lanker 17
Aww, now I have the image of me getting eaten by roaches stuck in my head. Guess who won't be getting any sleep tonight :
ChristianH39 30
#7 there are very, very few people I would wish that dream upon.
TheKittiesTitays 8
LSD is a hell of a drug
perdix 31
Do you mean the animal or singer with the scarred face? Did Rihanna have the horse or were the two of you serenading her?
UnknownJoe 6
It was just SEAL chasing him, after listening to his crappy duet with Sarah Jessica Parker.
WCARlover 35
I bet the horse sounded better than Rihanna too