By FML Approved How to deal with annoying neighbors... A fun solution from your friends at FML! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By engaged - United States Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML I agree, your life sucks 113868 You deserved it 24173 504 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By joarasmi Today, I came home to a completely trashed house and just stood there in shock until I heard something upstairs. I ran to heroically catch the robber and, despite being a 4'10" woman, I did it! How? The fat fuck got stuck in my window. FML I agree, your life sucks 4422 You deserved it 257 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sad45 - Canada Today, I was shopping with my friends and I got asked by a man if I could be in one of his commercials. I obviously said yes without thinking twice. I then found out that he wanted me to be the before picture for an acne control moisturizer. FML I agree, your life sucks 64231 You deserved it 10111 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scared - United States - Arlington Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML I agree, your life sucks 32570 You deserved it 3378 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML I agree, your life sucks 32292 You deserved it 5377 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unimpressed bride - United States - Traverse City Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 26493 You deserved it 3016 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tailgaterhater - United States Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh... I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML I agree, your life sucks 20947 You deserved it 47227 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Suzie Leone - United States Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML I agree, your life sucks 27400 You deserved it 2692 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML I agree, your life sucks 43504 You deserved it 3696 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By can you read? - United States Today, I got a ticket for driving without insurance. I gave the cop my insurance information, but he said it was invalid because it didn't show an expiration date. When I pointed out the information he was looking for, he ignored me and gave me a ticket anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 25913 You deserved it 1655 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Ridge Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML I agree, your life sucks 40031 You deserved it 2983 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmylifeee But my babiiiiiiies! Today, my wife and I invited my boss over for dinner, specifically warning her not to bring her children due to our house not being childproof. She surprised us by walking in with her toddlers. They both shat on our carpets, then my dog knocked them into a wall. I guess I'll start looking for another job. FML I agree, your life sucks 1523 You deserved it 175 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Denmark Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML I agree, your life sucks 34445 You deserved it 1643 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Julie - United States - East Brunswick Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 42083 You deserved it 2766 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scaredy cat - 9/8/2020 14:02 Wuss Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML I agree, your life sucks 1377 You deserved it 138 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Don't text and work - France Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 10122 You deserved it 68677 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By looke27 - United States Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 14215 You deserved it 37407 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf - United Kingdom Today, I shat out a staple. FML I agree, your life sucks 42523 You deserved it 17937 393 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iluvjenknee - United States Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML I agree, your life sucks 11635 You deserved it 33544 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Qatar - Doha Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML I agree, your life sucks 33126 You deserved it 2061 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML I agree, your life sucks 33241 You deserved it 4658 202 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - Singapore Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 29932 You deserved it 4160 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/7/2020 20:06 You're so vain, you probably think this FML is about you Today, my daughter is so selfish, she did her makeup in her hospital room so she could take a selfie with her newborn son in the background BEFORE she had even held him for the first time. Yes, BEFORE. My grandson spent his first hour of life waiting for his mom to be ready for a photo op. FML I agree, your life sucks 2272 You deserved it 283 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By confsused - Canada - Toronto Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML I agree, your life sucks 58823 You deserved it 3363 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fleatitting fame - Norway - Oslo Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML I agree, your life sucks 41831 You deserved it 3774 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Julia - United States Today, I was denied a waitressing job at a local diner I have been going to for years. Due to the fact that my name is Julia. They already have a waitress there named Julie. Apparently, I would "create too much confusion." FML I agree, your life sucks 30912 You deserved it 2526 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza - United States Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML I agree, your life sucks 16520 You deserved it 1034 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notguilty - United States Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML I agree, your life sucks 49333 You deserved it 22884 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By steph - France Today, my ex-girlfriend told me that she can't live without me, but she has another boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 45142 You deserved it 4114 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Harry - United States Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML I agree, your life sucks 17453 You deserved it 43847 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML I agree, your life sucks 46318 You deserved it 10601 348 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Wakefield You made them use coasters, Monica Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML I agree, your life sucks 1446 You deserved it 176 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nah - United States - San Antonio Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML I agree, your life sucks 24273 You deserved it 2924 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 27914 You deserved it 2823 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jgboy - United States - Franklin Park Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML I agree, your life sucks 48056 You deserved it 9459 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fme Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered "incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML I agree, your life sucks 5597 You deserved it 323 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zippyzoo - United States Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML I agree, your life sucks 41215 You deserved it 9084 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ashamed father - Canada - Brampton Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML I agree, your life sucks 46745 You deserved it 8595 434 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loser - United States Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML I agree, your life sucks 45603 You deserved it 13023 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JSterl - United States Today, our airplane was delayed because of issues with the de-ice-ing. Then, because it had too little fuel. Then, because of engine troubles. Then, because our first officer needed to be replaced due to legal restrictions on pilots' hours. Now, I get to go straight from the plane to work. FML I agree, your life sucks 28745 You deserved it 2329 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 107 6 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 888 You deserved it 45 7 Comments
