Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML
Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
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Top comments
dumboears 8
That's one hell of a fart.
LaColombianita 26
I didn't know a fart could cause that much damage...
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Comments (116)
zoPwNAgEzo 21
A little too excited there
Waffl3z 8
Sounds like an extreme case of mudbutt.
lrgenesis 19
This FML made my penis go really soft.
tanneriscool 2
17 - your comment made me want to slap you in the face with my penis.
StoryOfTheYear 15
17- Are you expecting a trophy or something?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Give this man a spanky award!
tanneriscool 2
17 is trying to be funny but completely backfired on him..
AnonymousTroll 2
This is a crappy situation.
Jamialia 5
I bet it's swamp ass
BRONCOMAN79 0
Wow i hate it when that happens haha
TheGianaJinx 0
Now during class when you suddenly slam your head on the desk, everyone read this FML and understands you farted.
tjv3 10
Maybe you need to go get that checked out. But thanks OP now my nose hurts because I laughed so hard Pepsi came out
vickeeyleeigh 0
Hahaha halarious!
dumboears 8
That's one hell of a fart.
Wederoney 16
Can't even begin to imagine what it must have smelled like.
Yodaevil 4
I'm jealous! I wish my farts would launch me into my mirror!
hemz_fml 13
You got me beat :(
lebronesque73091 12
33 & 57- Holy shit! That made the fml so much more funny XD
goodfella925 0
lol!
freakinglaugher 10
It's a bird! it's a plane! No, it *coughing fit* .. super ..fart. Oh crap, he just sharted!
liveyourlife_191 8
Good luck explaining THAT to your parents. They will probably disown you. FYL
LaColombianita 26
I didn't know a fart could cause that much damage...
yahoowizard 16
You obviously have not seen this one Dexter Laboratory episode...but that reference is a bit obscure, I think
TheDog6 24
Silent but Deadly.
rabid_fish 4
Are you a duck?
n3rdzgotskillz 29
how on earth did farting feel like getting stabbed? what do you eat?!
dumboears 8
Something really spicy would do it.
imepelepticsir 5
spicy foods would cause you to shit your pants as you farted. the experience oh how i loathe it.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
I eat spicy food all the time and can safely say that my farts have never been that deadly :')
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Do they whistle?
imepelepticsir 5
must be the artificial spicy foods then.
MerrikBarbarian 9
More likely op has hemmoroids an pressure of gas on them caused pain. Op should get their ass examined!
taco_bender 12
Tacos dont hurt people. They are very delicious and good. Besides taco bell is fake mexican food. Its good sometimes but cant beat original tacos beaner made.
CoGhostRider 31
It sometimes happens to people with acid reflux. It's basically a fold in your intestines catching the air.
mama2b3 20
Who knew farting could be so dangerous. ..
kicker42 0
...beautiful
lrgenesis 19
And that's why I stopped eating taco bell
ninjuh_wingman 29
Maybe a ghost decided to troll you and stab your butt.
LookOnBrightSide 12
Farts do work in mysterious ways. Makes you wonder...
whoaaahorsie 7
don't under estimate the power of farting! want to be alone in a room? fart! want a brand new spankin' mirror? fart!
bizarre_ftw 22
For the first one I've seen people light a cigarette For the second, leave a window open and throw a base ball through it, then blame the neighbor kids There, now no need to fart