Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML
Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
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Top comments
dumboears 8
That's one hell of a fart.
LaColombianita 26
I didn't know a fart could cause that much damage...
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Comments (116)
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
At least you didn't try to push the fart out to make it louder, and end up with a hernia..
lrgenesis 19
Where did it say op didn't?
steviesnm 6
It seems to me that you speak from experience.
jacob4592 0
Do you know what being stabbed in the butt feels like?????????
tanneriscool 2
I'm sure you do.. Explain please.
CrzyMnky 0
That's actually a real good question. What IS it like to be stabbed in the ass?????
bittersweet25 3
That sounds like a painful fart if it felt like someone stabbed you in the butt haha
wriptidez 0
its a sharp pain up ypur anus
pandakota 0
That'll knock the wind out of ya! :)
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
How does a fart scare you that much? Thank you for the actual laugh though. xD Lmfao
somestupiduserna 0
the feeling that you described usually comes from patients with chronic constipation. Because their severely scratched colon hurts even when air passes through.
perdix 31
Jumpin' jack flash, it's a gas, gas, gas!
DinosaurJr23 3
Thanks, Mick.
jhh0991 5
Silent but violent?
wgegrqw 3
what a powerful fart!XD