Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML
Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
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Top comments
dumboears 8
That's one hell of a fart.
LaColombianita 26
I didn't know a fart could cause that much damage...
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Comments (116)
Sooner5oh 3
You should see what Will The Farter (on Jackass) can do... Haha
PenguinSwag47 0
Bahaha that's great.
OfficeNinja 5
What the hell did you eat to produce a fart that felt like something stabbed you? I eat some spicy shit and that never happened to me.
IndianGiver 8
Now youre gunna have bad luck for quite a few years now all thanks to your fart.
TPSerigne 9
This is one of the worst FML's I have read in a long time.
viktorjavierpena 0
Bombs away!
Xcherrypie 16
I'm not sure your fart came out the right way?
tsquaredyo 0
Bahahahahaha that is some funny shit
logiee_bearr 6
Getting new glasses, what a pain in the ass
AlfishKK 7
What kind of pathetic glasses break from being dropped a few feet?
DJP0N3 0
That's what I thought glasses only break if you purposely throw them on the ground unless OP meant that the lenses fell out (happened to me once when my glasses fell)which should not be a problem.
Dan1015 5
Hahahahaha