By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 15:20 - Canada
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The whole thing about how cheating comes into play ain't always the girls fault...ya still it's not right but their Not "always" at fault for this. For instance - a girls having a bad day cause her boyfriend/fiancé/husband upset her and or lied to her, the girl may find comfort in talking to a close guy "friend". This talking is where the guy takes a shot at saying "i understand" and is a supplemental circumstance 95% of the time leading to sex. A guy comforting a girl and "understanding" and taking advantage of her weakened state can and most likely lead to sex. Thus not being the girls technical "fault", but moreso the guy using her. - I think OP should kick the Guys ass, have sex with his girlfriend and then confront his fiancé about why and or how this happened. Forgiveness comes in time, trust will never be the same. Discussions are vital in relationships. I wish u luck OP.
I'm Not saying that it's not her fault- to an extent it is. She should of confronted her "problems" with her fiancé... But it's still a choppy thing. It could swing from her doing wrong, to the guys fault, to his best friends fault in a matter or a sentence. She could say, he raped me. Then it's the friends fault. She could say I wanted to. Then it's her fault. Or she could say he comforted me and a few drinks later it happened. Then it's negotiable...still wrong tho. OP you should confront her on it...find out why, and work from there. Good luck.
Rape is a vastly different circumstance from what you mentioned and is totally impertinent to the discussion at hand. "she could say he comforted me and a few drinks later it happened. Then it's negotiable..." No, it is not. No matter what way you spin it, she had a choice, the possible consequences and implications of which she knew, and she chose poorly. It is her fault.
There is NO reasoning with any naive person. I have yet to find a single person who looks at something differently than for what it is. Meaning everyone ALWAYS sees the bad side of something and NEVER attempts to find out the reasoning as to why, or lookin for a brighter side in ANY situation. There is always a reason behind an action. No one knows the reasoning for OP's fiances action, thus I'm just throwing it out there that it's not always as bad as it seems, and they're might be alot more to it than she jus blantently did it. Etc etc. I'm holding adamant to my thought on this, criticize as you wish, this is how I think. The world isn't always bad, the naive and immature may not see it thoroughly, thus perceiving it being bad. But look for brighter things, be optimistic and it works out.
Oh, there were undoubtedly rationalizations she used. I'm not arguing that. It seemed to me you were implying she had somehow relinquished some of her free will. If not, and the first sentence of this comment is all you were trying to get across, I apologize for the miscommunication.
spidermonke. You are wrong. In this situation, it has to be her fault. Now the few situations you described that would (very *very* slightly) take some of the fault from her, were not at all valid, simply because she lied about it. She had sex with one guy while dating another, then she tried to toss out a lame excuse to make it seem like she hadn't.
That is her fault. I don't always focus only on the bad, and refuse to see alternatives. But in this situation, there simply cannot be one, because of her blatent lie. Without it, maybe. But that lie seals it, it was clearly not a situation in which you could remove some of the fault. Plus she recorded it. I mean really, if she's all broken down and vulnerable, she's certainly not gonna record it and save it.
OP's gf recorded it, and lied about it. There is no remorse there, and no way it 'sort of just happened' because she was sad and vulnerable-- you don't whip out your video camera at a time like that. spidermonke probably cheated on her man at some point and is trying to defend her bad judgements by making up nonsensical BS in support of OP's lying cheat of a girlfriend.
Well I agree that the guy friend should get the shit kicked out of him and probably castrated, but she's a lying cheating whore. In this case you can't say its not her fault, and in almost all cases its the cheaters fault. If you don't love someone at least have the decency to break up first. I say take back that ring, and dump her. Good luck to the guy this is about, I know that must hurt.
Give her the angry pirate next time you have sex then dump her :. For those who don't know what that is, urban dictionary is your friend.
Did you actually point that out to her? Because if that's how she treats you, she needs to know that it's over and you want that ring back. However, if you really don't want to lose her, you should get her to admit the truth and find out why. If it is just something you weren't doing, then it might be a salvageable situation. However, if it wasn't, then you need to know that as well.
What is with women always saying "If it is just something you weren't doing"... No, slut, it's never something the guy is or isn't doing. It's because you're a slut and can't control yourself. If a girl thinks there's something that seriously wrong with the relationship, then it needs to end. Cheating is never an appropriate response.
TwoZero, I never said cheating was right. I think it's horrible, made even worse in this case by her lying. However some people are willing to forgive, especially if they know it was only a one off. It all depends on the individuals and the circumstances. Also, who are you calling a slut? And if something is wrong with the relationship, it's usually advisable to talk it over before ending it.