Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML
Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML
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Top comments
mastamouse 12
Time to bring out the belt
purplebabytacos1 14
That's horrible. I'm sorry OP! He needs to learn respect. Hopefully, He isn't such an ass when he gets older!
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Comments (151)
mikaellikestacos 14
Punch him in the mouth and when he Cries ask him "what is it like to be a little bitch? "
DeadCDbooZ 9
I just spent a week with an 11 year old that was a know it all plus only child syndrome. I know how you feel OP.
urlyfesuxx 5
Wtf is wrong wit that kid!?
LennyComa 39
Some kids need a slap
Caprica323 5
It's ok OP. When his birthday and Christmas comes and there's nothing from you he'll know why. Ignorant kid.
CeltHound 14
You could've made him see what being a pussy is like after you've reduce him to ashes!!!!!
Adam5858 17
Well you must be quite sensitive feeling hurt by a ten year old.
ReggieReefer 12
That was your Que to step in and teach the little shit head a lesson!!
squii123 4
Ask him what it's like to be dead. And when he says he doesn't know, tell him he will soon.. The walk away.
itooamscrewed 10
I've often looked at people and wondered the same thing. Then I go for a run.