Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said, "Eww!" The boy then asked, "What's "ew" mean?" I replied, "Something gross and yucky." Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!" FML
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Cloudy_fml 0
Gotta love kids, eh? ;) Maybe you should work on your *hygiene*... He probably only said it because it's true.
AliSama 17
he is 4 years old. What do you expect? Even if you are well groomed, people sweat, and they sweat a lot in that area due to hair concentration etc. it's life.
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Comments (89)
Cloudy_fml 0
Gotta love kids, eh? ;) Maybe you should work on your *hygiene*... He probably only said it because it's true.
stuffhappens223 7
Lol win
AliSama 17
he is 4 years old. What do you expect? Even if you are well groomed, people sweat, and they sweat a lot in that area due to hair concentration etc. it's life.
orangeandblu 0
how do u know.... arent u a dude?
naren723 11
It's common knowledge and maybe, just maybe guys sweat down there too you know like all humans do?
moig_fml 0
i was thinking the same thing as #9
Shleester 0
Maybe you should shower twice a day instead of twice a month...
cupkate18 6
You fail at life
LissaMccracken 23
Who the hell showers twice a day???
ZING_MASTER 0
That kid is ZING MASTER JR. for sure!!!! LIL ZING!!!!!
alphabeta_fml 0
there are no words to describe the hilarity of this.
darlingseas 0
LOL humiliating.
NorfolkDude 2
I don't get why you're in front of a class with your 4 year old cousin in the first place? Kids usually say the "honest" things, so yeah, you probably smelled.
ODEEZY 0
Kids say the darnedest things.... All I got to say is DOUCHE!!! Hahahahahahaha XD
KatieWagnerFab 0
Kids say the darnest things! Hahaha...so wrong but so funny.