Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML
Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML
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Top comments
mastamouse 12
Time to bring out the belt
purplebabytacos1 14
That's horrible. I'm sorry OP! He needs to learn respect. Hopefully, He isn't such an ass when he gets older!
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Comments (151)
tesslaar 17
His parents need to have a stern talk to him on how you should talk to people! Sorry OP :(
marajade27 4
There's some horrible parenting right there.
blackychan63 12
stop being a pussy
savannabrooks17 12
Please tell me you told the parents. That kid needs some serious disciplining.
Yodelmeister 18
How the hell did you let a 10 year old reduce you to tears? Grow a spine and act like an adult.
valentinov 15
"What it's like to be so fat?" Answer: it's pretty good. I can squash you like a fly with just one backhand. Look! - now you backhand him like your life depended on it Better?
Robert1989 9
you the 26 year old women she of punched the 10 year old in the face and say that's what being rude gets you.
GingerRage 6
that kid is destined to be the next justin beiber douche.
tysaa122 2
What 9 op isn't fat and he's harming her confidence and self esteem?
psychedelicstar 5
that kid is awesome