Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML
Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML
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Top comments
mastamouse 12
Time to bring out the belt
purplebabytacos1 14
That's horrible. I'm sorry OP! He needs to learn respect. Hopefully, He isn't such an ass when he gets older!
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Comments (151)
Sierra7211 17
Some children are very honest and haven't learned how to express it tactfully yet.. Some are just assholes.
kazmie 8
Clearly he needs to learn some respect via ass whooping or loss of teeth via slap to his smart ass mouth.
depressingrage 5
I would have said "I don't know ask your father."
can_you_not_ 10
His parents must not discipline him at all.
bennyboi7 5
What goes around comes around... Let karma deal with him :)
MidnaLink 35
Time to nail his ass to the wall… with big nails!
robdesaint 6
I feel that if the kid doesn't learn respect, he is going to grow up and be a major twat
quiet_storm09 17
Is this kid's name Cartman by any chance?
ShowMeKay 20
Haha. I just heard "I'm not fat, I'm just big boned!" in my head. OP could be Cartman too?
quiet_storm09 17
He needs to respect her authority!
Confidentkid 10
I hit you deserved it by accident and I want to tell you I don't think you deserve it and I would've smacked him for talking like that.
Birdclawz 17
Hit him, it's the only way he will learn