Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
jaysvn 2
that's a dick move.
naxeeb 33
Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!
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Comments (123)
olpally 33
Eye-carumba!
sammyjojo 7
My husband has done that too. They think its so funny for some reason.
SlapAndTickle 20
Yeah, mine will T-bag me when I'm asleep and brag to my online gaming buddies. Then I never hear the end of it.
xStaciexLynnx 15
The first time my boyfriend did that to me would be the last time...
SlapAndTickle 20
It's all in good fun.
Enslaved 38
Slap, I sure hope you return the favour and wake him up in the same fashion.(: ****"I like my woman how I like my reading glasses. . . Sitting on my face"! :P
buckdharma 38
#54- So you're saying she should pussy whip him?
Enslaved 38
Sure. Who wouldn't want a little Catwoman role play?(:
SlapAndTickle 20
Ha, funny that you mention it, I infact do, Enslaved. As he says " Ain't nothing better than being woken up to a nice wet kiss first thing in the morning."
challan 19
Its all fun and games until someone gets hit in the eye!
kinky44 28
Then its hilarious!
likemice 6
Correction: It's all fun and games till someone takes a dick to the eye.
Wizardo 34
Looks like he couldn't rise to the challenge, flop once but next time he'll shoot for the bullseye...
StefanKa 23
Are you that short or is he that big? O.o
SlapAndTickle 20
OP could have been sitting on the toilet, couch or the floor.
mattrd_fml 31
how was he even able to do that? were you on the toilet or something?
alshygirl 14
Please do
gnomeeeey 4
There are worse things. Penises are blunt objects.
Cristian89 29
Black eye from a penis. Must be an awkward story to tell family and friends lol
Enslaved 38
Black eyed P. . . (enis) Boom Boom Pow!
raphanne_fml 33
We have a name for someone slapping you with a penis in French. It's called a "biffle". *that was the French lesson of the day*
revidffum69 22
Or pecker slap.