Intimacy, Sex, Accident and Awkward: One nation, under rod

One nation, under rod

By LaLa - 20/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 213

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Heat of passion

By owl + bungee cord - 07/01/2014 20:38 - United States - Herndon

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

Steamy

By Hotdamn - 21/03/2016 04:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 288

You deserved it 3 185

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 405

You deserved it 4 241

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 002

You deserved it 4 478

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 107

You deserved it 3 325

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 256

You deserved it 3 399

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 733

You deserved it 6 071

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 13 694

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 039

You deserved it 6 802

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 100

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 21 September 2019 0:34

That's not the rod you wanted in your face.

kirby1964 20

Friday 20 September 2019 22:15

Sorry you got hurt, but stuff happened. Hope you both laughed at it off.

Comments

kirby1964 20

Friday 20 September 2019 22:15

Sorry you got hurt, but stuff happened. Hope you both laughed at it off.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 21 September 2019 0:34

That's not the rod you wanted in your face.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 21 September 2019 0:35

Yeah, let's say the shower rod bloodied your nose.

Keywords

DIY Cats Family Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Work Management Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Love Dating Mental health Anxiety Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 6 630

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, I went to school without knowing that all my math books had been peed on by my cousin's cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 584

You deserved it 222

Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 2 447

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 714

You deserved it 3 513

Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 667

You deserved it 1 132

Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 305

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 404

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments