Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
jaysvn 2
that's a dick move.
naxeeb 33
Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!
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Comments (123)
Ray_of_midnight 23
Actual Advice Mallard says: that thing you see in **** where men slap women in the face with their penises? Real-life women generally don't appreciate that, and even the ones that do, would prefer that you ask first.
SaintJimmy21 19
WHY did he even try that?
dawood_k 27
Your husbands is ******* awesome! High five him, or **** eye him... Oh you know what I mean
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Your boyfriend needs to learn what a penis is used for with a girl…and it's not for hitting her forehead.
vodzman 10
Yeah...probably should have seen that coming...
Beccarella 4
Grab a ***** and return the favour.. Eye for an eye?
kwesh34 0
Girl next time put that dick in your mouth and bite it. Trust me he will think twice before trying to hit you with it. In fact he will reckon where to put it next time...yep ur va jay jay, not your FOREHEAD.
PeirceTheRoses 2
xD I'm dying!
Meaniebobeanie 26
Wait... Why are people clicking YDI?
jraww 3
Why was his penis and your forehead at the same height..?