Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
jaysvn 2
that's a dick move.
naxeeb 33
Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!
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Comments (123)
SlapAndTickle 20
Importanter? Ok then.
LifeOfAnRN 18
Doesn't anybody wonder why he was trying to hit her in the forehead in the first place?
twinkiefeets 17
It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye with a dick.
truepanda 2
eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. i would smack it if he did that to me.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Uh...how could he hit you in the forehead or eye with his penis, anyway? Unless you're super short or he's super "long," how is it even possible? Were you sitting on the floor? I'm really baffled by this.
emmybabe987 10
everyone is always getting hit with penises on here. I'm scared I may be next
martin8337 36
Giggity giggity all right.
justapilotken 3
Does this mean you are looking "****-eyed"?
tazzy349 11
ha ha ha ha ha
martin8337 36
For this to have happened, dude must be hung like John Holmes.