Intimacy: Wrong sort of poking

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

agreeclassic 54 221

vote type 1 9 747

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Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

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Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

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jaysvn 2

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:18

that's a dick move.

naxeeb 33

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:16

Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!

Comments

jrock9093 18

Monday 23 September 2013 7:10

Ummmm yeahhh lol at least he's in to you or your eye

organolithium_fml 9

Monday 23 September 2013 7:55

One-eyed weasel, meet two-eyed girlfriend.

InsaneBolt 7

Monday 23 September 2013 9:46

I guess you now have *takes sunglasses off* Cockeye! YEAHHHHH!!!

punz 7

Monday 23 September 2013 15:53

Try smacking him around a little with your **** and see how he likes it and if FML ever branches out with a FME, you can be the first OP.

trulypar 34

Monday 23 September 2013 22:45

Is that what would be classified as 3-D ****?

chickenman12312 12

Monday 23 September 2013 23:53

The things that people do these days.

messergames 4

Tuesday 24 September 2013 2:48

What a hob knocker

greenbaybuddy 2

Tuesday 24 September 2013 7:02

Thats hot

kaywilliams 6

Tuesday 24 September 2013 14:36

I'd still like it!

XO920 5

Tuesday 24 September 2013 22:29

*Cleveland Browns Voice* D'awwh that's nasty...

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