Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
jaysvn 2
that's a dick move.
naxeeb 33
Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!
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Comments (123)
siggy_mcsigx 22
Were you already kneeling? Or is he 10 feet tall? I'd find that so disrespectful if my boyfriend dared do that to me.
crzyknt 9
Taking poking in the eye to a whole new level. Boss mode
JustinKirby 20
Just be grateful he didn't give you a golden shower! If you need to wear an eye patch maybe some kinky pirate foreplay will come in handy? I'm just kidding I'm sure your fine anyways sorry to hear that hilarious little accident! Can't wait for the follow up
paramor3 23
Hey, at least it was squeaky clean!!!
sowrongitsdani 14
How tall is your boyfriend?!
TyT63 12
guess he head butted you
AestheticSynthia 7
lol when I read the first sentence, I was like wha?! what am I reading ? haha
Blink_me26 21
What were you doing at eye/forehead level with his penis as he stepped out of the shower?
drshn 22
Why the down vote guys, that's a good comment
Blink_me26 21
Thank you! People are weird.
systemic 11
You were probably taking a shit for him to get his dick eye level when he steps out of the shower. Not cool!
jmcr 27
If it was an accident then that sucks if it was on purpose next time you give him a bj dont forget about your teeth its when a guy is most vulnerable ;)