Worker rise up!

By Username - 04/08/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 957
You deserved it 25 303

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

welcome to the real world

call motherfucker jones.


welcome to the real world

i can tell you really dislike your boss, not by what he did but by your choice of vocabulary OP.

Did he make you do work, OP? Why do you hate him so much? If you don't like your job (assuming that you don't like your work cause you complained about the wage) get a new one.

For the rest of eternity? Or you could just get a different job.

You know, if he were to die, from say a 'heart attack' due to a high increase in sodium in his coffee, he wouldn't ride your ass so hard. Cause he'd be dead.

This sounds a little over-drammatic :P

So detailed how did you come to realize this

Should have went to college

30- this makes me think of the movie Horrible Bosses

What real world do you live in?

Invitation declined :p

McDonalds is always hiring.....

i believe you spelled whithered wrong

I didn't know that Hell had wifi!

Actually do you have any idea how hard it is to get a job at McDonalds right now? You go to apply along with 15 other people if there's an opening.

so step up your game...

Your boss's name is Satan, so I don't think he will ever die

So OP lives in Georgia and lost a fiddle battle?

Satan already has died... well, not physically.

I was thinking Evelyn Harper, but Satan is close enough, I guess.

I take great offense to that.

find another job then quit.

It's a recession. Unfortunately there arnt Many jobs. You have to take what you get and be thankful you have a job

Well there's nothing wrong with looking and applying elsewhere. It can't hurt anyone XD

He should watch horrible bosses

I agree with Greekgal. It's not that hard. Especially if he's making minimum wage. Go flip burgers or something.

He's a necromancer? He raises undead zombies? I think you mean necrotic.

Necrotic, from Necrosis (Greek νεκρός, "dead", νέκρωσις, "death, the stage of dying, the act of killing"). Erm, NOPE. Necromancers are usually portrayed as undead or immortal.

Or they meant necrophiliac which means likes dead bodies

Step away from the MMORPGs KaySL. In the real world, its necrotic, meaning "near death". Let me Google necromancy for you: "Necromancy is a form of magic in which the practitioner seeks to summon the spirit of a deceased person." "The practice of supposedly communicating with the spirits of the dead in order to predict the future". "The supposed practice of communicating with the dead, esp. in order to predict the future." FAIL

And how is "near death" even remotely near to meaning "immortal"? For that matter, how in the name of Jesus Herbert Walker Christ do you manage to wilfully blind yourself to all but those definitions - academic or colloquial - which support your argument? Please do enlighten me, as I'm currently almost falling out of my chair, trembling with rapt anticipation, you vindictive wench.

The context is that his boss is "ancient and withered". This implies necrosis or "dying tissue" not necromancy or "the practice of speaking with or raising the dead". Necromancy has nothing to do with immortality. Its a practice, not a state. No relying on your substantial FML cred KaySL. Look up the definitions yourself. Skool'd

The CONTEXT is "for the rest of eternity", you raging imbecile, hence the OP using the word "necromantic" in the sense that any person still alive would take it, unless they're desperately misreading it for the sake of playing amateur Grammar Nazi. If you're going to do it, do it right. Pointing out one phrase while blatantly ignoring the other, and failing to rub more than two brain cells together just makes you look like a moron, as does using terms such as "FAIL", "skool'd", and "cred" like a five year old while at the same time criticising the OP's supposed lack of perfect grammar.

And what the twat are you ranting on about with, "substantial FML cred"? I've barely commented around here for a good year, so I'm pretty sure I have little "cred", and thank Christ for that, given the fact that your good-as-lobotomised ilk swarm the place like gnats to a ballsack. I'd frankly be worried if I WAS "approved of".

"...or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies" indicates that the context of necromantic is that of an adjective on the noun "ass", describing the deathlike state of his boss. Not the "eternity" referenced in the previous clause. Reading comprehension. Show me any definition of necromancy from any reputable dictionary that has the least bit to do with immortality or eternity. Paste the URL here. Go ahead... I'll wait. But I'll agree with you on my use of FAIL and skool'd. It was stupid.

"For the rest of eternity" = OP is likening him to a ghost, or a demon. "Or until his necromantic ass dies" = OP then clarifies that he's likening the boss specifically to a necromancer, which in today's fiction usually comes with powers of immortality. Necromancy, in Greek = divination from death. In modern usage, as you should clearly know, the affix -mancy is used to mean magical power over an element or a thing. And as I said, in modern times, the typical necromancer lore is of someone with power over death, and who has become immune to death by normal ageing. I hope that clears things up for you, and shows you that modern English reaches far beyond overly-literal translations of Greek words. If you want to be a Grammar Nazi and a pedant for a day, try not to be a complete dickhead about it. Anyway, I'd like to thank all those who helped me arrive at where I am today - friends, family, weak-minded acquaintances, scamming victims. You know who you all are, couldn't be where I am today without you. Wink, cheesy grin. ;D P.S. Thumbing down people you're debating with makes you look very insecure. Almost as much as thumbing your own comment up does...

that might have been the biggest verbal rape i have ever seen. and trust me im a pro at raping.... anywayyy.....

Ur argument is invalid

The difference here is that i actually looked up the definitions while you just made them up, trading on your popularity here to provide you with some sort of authority. There is no dictionary definition of necromancy that implies immunity from death. I still challenge you to find one and post it here. Your syntactic and grammatical analysis of the OPs FML is so wrong its worthy of an FML itself. I would also like for the readers to count the number of direct personal insults KaySL hurled at me vs the lack of thereof (even compliments) hurled by me at him. At that point you can decide who is the "dickhead".

What the "twat are you ranting on about"?That's KaySL for you, Calyx. Always been like that, don't take it personal. If you can't take the heat... you know the rest. Now, slowly back away from the Sun.

Both of you are wrong. Necromancy is the practice of summoning spirits for the purpose of seeing into the future. Calyx you are a dumbass, it has nothing nothing to do with being close to death. KaySL I understand how you think it means you are immortal, some definitions make it sound like the conjurer is summoning spirits for the purposes of immortality but upon reading the further I found nothing suggesting immortality.

My proof is decades of pervasive usage of the necromancer trope in culture and the arts. I have made nothing up, and your utter ignorance of such a simple concept is the true FML here. Or maybe you know full well that you're wrong, but you can't back down for fear of appearing weak? "Popularity" here, I have none. But then, I already said that before, didn't I? Yes, I did. And as with everything else I've said, you've conveniently ignored it and plugged your ears, closed your eyes, and stomped your feet pretending it didn't happen, along with other logical fallacies, sunshine. Don't be a little wuss and cry over little insults when you were the first to start with them. Don't throw out what you can't bear to have thrown right back in your face. Compliments, how rich. You've embarrassed yourself so absolutely without any aid from me. Since you don't want to concede a damn thing, this discussion is over. Grind your axe via private messages, if you like. If you're actually interested in debating, rather than desperately trying to look cool in front of an audience. Good day... Edit: Brool_Story_Co, you're right of course. But that isn't what I'm claiming at all. Calyx seems to be under the wilfully mistaken impression that we're discussing literal dictionary definitions, rather than extremely widespread, colloquial usage of the necromancer trope.

yeah 70 that was some very intense verbal rapage, way to get ur ass handed to ya calyx

KaySL- you made a mistake in one of your arguments. You pointed that Calyx has two brain cells, that was a pretty bad overestimation, I would be surprised if he even had one

damn kaysl types fast, his last comment took a minute judging by the timestamps

I am like biting my nails reading you guys arguments. This is some hardcore crap man.

Brool_Story_Co: I never said that necromancy means a state close to death. I said that necrosis means that. The evidence is above in black and white. KaySL: Last word. If the OP intended to imply that his boss was immortal due to the practice of necromancy then why would he finish the FML with implying that his boss will die? Hmm? Your caustic wit has dissolved your reasoning, but fooled the sycophantic hordes who agree with you.

Calyx, that's very unbecoming and childish of you. Spiteful too. Just because people agree with me, doesn't mean they're ass-kissers. In fact, I despise ass-kissers of any kind, even in the rare event they're kissing my own. And truly, you need to stop playing with words and see the simple implication the OP made in his FML. If he wasn't sarcastically likening the boss to an immortal old demon/necromancer, why would he say "all eternity" to begin with? And he didn't say the boss WOULD die, merely that it's possible by some means, like murder. Use your head. But as you say, that was your last word, and so this is mine.

calyx just shut up your not going to win, in fact youll just be run over by kaysl's awaiting army of words.

ITT: children on the Internet

I have lost the will to waste my time arguing with you Calyx. Talk to me when your IQ gets above 5.

Calyx & Kaysl, there is a chance that both interpretations are correct, you can interpret the FML both ways. But you where to blind to see that maybe just maybe it depends on how a person reacts to the fml. Ps kaysl, you are like a legend here, together with boners, docbastard and sirebc you are the most famous in here after the mods. And if you read carefully you see that a bunch of commenters actually do kiss your ass with passion

Boners, I thought that was a normal Friday night with you when your at my place?

i bet there both the same person arguimg with eachother( themselves)

I dont see why definitions were even brought into this conversation, it was not mean literally.

128 He does that at your house too? Damn it boners! I thought we had something special... ;-;

It's funny that people would take the time to argue on this site... Do you 2 feel satisfied after wasting all that time over something no-one cares about? Read the FML, comment saying something funny if you must, then move onto the next, it's pretty simple...

KaySL..... You are my God, and Boners is my savior on this site. Please, accept my humble offering if my insanity.

KaySl your articulation turns me on. Mmmm.

I literally stopped after Calyx was stupid enough to reply to KaySL and got some popcorn. Why? I knew shit was going down.

People, we just witnessed something amazing.

I think op means his boss is a necromorph out of dead space.. probably a slasher.

For some reason neither of you took into account the fact that as a necromancer the OP's boss would be able to summon them back to continue to work even after the OP has died. And IF necromancers are immortal then it would be for "all eternity". But either way any time spent working feels like eternity.

4 OP means necromancer that's why he wrote it

i just got wood

I think it's funny people are praising KaySL when he/she is quite obviously wrong.

Necromancers actually just summon the spirit back into the body which raises the dead... So this doesn't really make to much sence... I read a lot O.O

call motherfucker jones.

Mutha fucka jones knows what he's doin... For a price

That is the single greatest comment i have ever seen on FML.

Should be called motherfuck over-jones to avoid confusion.

Hahaha fkin laugh my fkin ass off.. Lol

haha that's funny

Nah it's mutha fucka jones

yeah. or you could quit. walk away. and get a new job with a different ass of a boss. who will pay you minimum wage. because that's life. get used to it dumb ass.

I normally wouldn't say this, but. U mad?

I'm serious. it's the power thing. and well no one really wants to pay you more then they have to. and if they are making money. they dont care about you.

"...get used to it." God it's POS's like you that really grind my gears. Toss the defeatist attitude or seclude yourself from society, we don't need people like you.

Yeah sure they could do that... Or quit being lazy, strive for college, and in turn have a life they don't HAVE to get used to but rather choose to get used to it. If op isn't happy he could do something about it, rather than take advice from a cynic who expects the worst out of life and anticipates bare minimum.

Ok you are being overly dramatic and rude about this I think you seriously need to take a moment to reflect on how your treating this random guy on the internet

If you don't like it than I suggest you do something about it. Nothing is worth more than your dignity.

Try changing your situation then? You're obviously a bit of a pushover if you're that "whipped" that your boss takes advantage of you. There's a difference between helping someone out and being their bitch. If not, I could set you up with someone who will eh, dispose of him, so to speak. Hehe.

Maybe there will be an "accident".

So kill him.. Problem solved :) I'm just kidding ignore the voice in your head