Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs of my apartment building because I thought my cat was a ghost. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
THE CAT BURGLAR STRIKES AGAIN.
McCannCanTriple 0
At least you didn't call the cops.
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Comments (128)
JamieR1263 0
How did your cat get in your basement?
mjc421 0
hahaha, stupid cats
Wii624 5
#94 - What do you mean stupid cats!?!? cats are awesome! Way better than dogs. My cat plays with cardboard boxes too :P
misstheRev 0
UUUUUUU!
davidle1 0
from what I read if you think Someone has broke into your house...you should stay where you are and call the cops. if you do choose to confront a bugler have a better weapon then a bat. If you do have a better weapon make sure you look at the burgler to make sure it's not actually a realative.
The_Great_Zucchi 15
Even with a better weapon don't go looking for trouble. 9 out of 10 burglars run when they figure out someone is in the house with them. Cornering them only makes them do stupid shit like hurt you. Plus, if you run into the 1 out of 10 who won't run, having a weapon forces them to use theirs if they have one. So the best advice is to either make a lot of noise and they will run or call the cops or both.
kewl92 0
whoa paranoid much?
exquisite 0
YDI for thinking you could go after a buglar instead of calling the cops. Should be more like thank goodness it was just my cat and not a guy with a gun...
skb8769 0
bahahahaha
spcoolj 0
so glad I'm not you!
blastvortex 4
Awwwwwwwwwww...... PS I agree with #103.
lucklessblonde12 3
Ya see? This is why we should all hate cats.