Today, my girlfriend dumped me when I told her I once got out of jury duty. It was a legitimate reason with evidence from my neurosurgeon, but she thinks I should have done my civic duty, while enduring the pain of screws holding my skull together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after 3 years. Why, do you ask? Turns out her dad used to bully my dad in highschool and my dad kicked his ass after all this time and sent him to the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, after being in the hospital for two weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML
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Top comments
Cc411 11
You dodged a bullet!!
Brightside86 31
Yeah that's a made up reason. Though would you prefer to know it if it was something like? A) You're too short B) She is sleeping with your best friend/brother/sister/boss C) You don't make enough money D) Your penis is too small E) That thing that you secretly feel vulnerable about, she knows and it's a deal breaker. I mean how would that conversation go, would that be better? People always say honesty is better, but man sometimes honesty really sucks.
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Comments (8)
Cc411 11
You dodged a bullet!!
Plop 17
Congrats on not dating a moron anymore!
Yvonne Rose 4
she's an idiot. Find someone with at least half a brain.. perhaps you could get your neurosurgeon to check first😂😂
hope jm 5
she was just looking for an excuse. sorry
Crowned Sataness 12
she was just waiting for an excuse. let her go.
Brightside86 31
Yeah that's a made up reason. Though would you prefer to know it if it was something like? A) You're too short B) She is sleeping with your best friend/brother/sister/boss C) You don't make enough money D) Your penis is too small E) That thing that you secretly feel vulnerable about, she knows and it's a deal breaker. I mean how would that conversation go, would that be better? People always say honesty is better, but man sometimes honesty really sucks.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
It's jury duty, a bitch that crazy doesn't need to have any relationships. This is your lucky day friend.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Sounds to me like her skull has a few loose screws.