Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She... - FML

By Is that..? - 17/7/2014 03:51 - United States - Aurora

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56788

You deserved it

4820

Tweet

Share

Gratitude walks

FML every way you look at it

Basic Instinct

By bleurghh - 31/12/2011 15:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30758

You deserved it

8758

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 18:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29544

You deserved it

5971

Tweet

Share

By mimi - 27/9/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14637

You deserved it

35621

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/9/2019 14:01

Triage

Today, while at my job as a nurse in the ER, someone came in with a hangnail. They threw a fit that they had to wait because we were managing a heart attack, a man with colon cancer and a kid with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1670

You deserved it

87

Tweet

Share

By Charity - 20/3/2017 17:00 - United States

Slashing Prices Left and Right!

Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7001

You deserved it

731

Tweet

Share

By ihatemondays - 23/8/2012 06:15 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22501

You deserved it

14230

Tweet

Share

By life// - 8/1/2013 23:56 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30559

You deserved it

5156

Tweet

Share

By fmrunning - 25/3/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, I completed my 6 month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

92392

You deserved it

4522

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/12/2015 21:38 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21073

You deserved it

1566

Tweet

Share

By mywillyisdisappointed - 5/12/2015 01:57 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24644

You deserved it

3371

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/2/2018 19:00

Man vs Boy

Today, it was my first day at a new gym, which cost a fortune. Some skinny teen who had clearly never lifted in his life dropped a weight while I was stretching and broke my ankle. Money down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4848

You deserved it

278

Tweet

Share

By missingcharlie - 17/8/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44962

You deserved it

5664

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 10:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25384

You deserved it

24606

Tweet

Share

By pissed off - 1/7/2012 01:00

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23370

You deserved it

2557

Tweet

Share

By thanks, my fellow americans - 18/4/2013 21:41 - United States - Woodlyn

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47579

You deserved it

13581

Tweet

Share

By LLCoolBean - 3/3/2011 08:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11522

You deserved it

58670

Tweet

Share

By dammitt - 10/10/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8959

You deserved it

60214

Tweet

Share

By sparklethelette - 7/12/2011 01:38 - United States

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27921

You deserved it

3477

Tweet

Share

By cakehater - 21/8/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29160

You deserved it

2404

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/8/2019 16:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, whom I have been with for 4 years. I've been in Australia for the last 2 months and before I left, he bought a box of 12 condoms, saying we would use them when I got back. We went to the bedroom and I opened the box. There was one left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2704

You deserved it

229

Tweet

Share

By emkaycutie - 29/3/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18170

You deserved it

199635

Tweet

Share

By ryan and Zack - 25/2/2010 22:30 - United States

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32100

You deserved it

7872

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 22:01

The Gush

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

713

You deserved it

1893

Tweet

Share

By StinkyandStupid - 15/3/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9622

You deserved it

37941

Tweet

Share

By Randy - 13/9/2011 02:15 - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43728

You deserved it

5138

Tweet

Share

By holly - 24/5/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks

80960

You deserved it

4683

Tweet

Share

By wellgreat - 14/4/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I was in the Student Union when a man a came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a study to see how men acted differently when working with attractive women. Flattered and taken aback, I agreed. He then told me I would be part of the control group to see how they act around plain looking women. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59389

You deserved it

6472

Tweet

Share

By ItchyGirl - 9/10/2016 12:07 - Australia - Geelong

Today, I've got the worst eczema I've had in 25 years. It's spread to the worst possible spot: right where my thighs touch when I walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10720

You deserved it

850

Tweet

Share

By Shaun - 16/6/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks

88172

You deserved it

6113

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3918

You deserved it

641

Tweet

Share

By Stinky and Single - 6/8/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24652

You deserved it

6611

Tweet

Share

By Uriah - 3/7/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17135

You deserved it

109320

Tweet

Share

By mc - 3/1/2009 02:12 - France

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21735

You deserved it

2312

Tweet

Share

By lunarclips - 27/6/2016 14:08 - Canada - Brandon

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11992

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1217

Tweet

Share

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42930

You deserved it

3481

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 01:03 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42560

You deserved it

4008

Tweet

Share

By melikeyturtles - 10/10/2011 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25450

You deserved it

4747

Tweet

Share

By bruised_scrotum - 15/5/2014 17:08 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54299

You deserved it

4781

Tweet

Share

By for fuck sake dad - 2/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33844

You deserved it

3437

Tweet

Share

By no touching - 6/3/2015 14:03 - Australia - Blacktown

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34527

You deserved it

5165

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By A07 | 48

#6010670 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:00

Atleast now you'll have a good friend at work.

By fleur_de_fevrier_fml | 22

#6010674 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:03

She might be more embarrassed than you about the situation.

COMMENTS

By A07 | 48

#6010670 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:00

Atleast now you'll have a good friend at work.

Reply

Garrison21 | 11

#6010731 - Thursday 17 July 2014 14:43

Hey no special treatment for friends jam your billy club in her neck

Reply

sofaqueen_ | 14

#6010805 - Thursday 17 July 2014 16:41

I think this is more of an F her life lol.

Reply

iSativa | 24

#6010886 - Thursday 17 July 2014 19:36

This is the United States of America. If you're able to avoid jail your entire life, you're not really living.

Reply

puzzle05 | 9

#6010892 - Thursday 17 July 2014 19:42

And someone to talk to! :D

Reply

blazingshot147 | 19

#6010924 - Thursday 17 July 2014 20:22

Sounds like the start of a romantic comedy...

By nygyrfan | 10

#6010671 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:01

Well, luckily you guys can spend plenty of time together.

Reply

iAlissa | 34

#6010720 - Thursday 17 July 2014 14:17

Ah, the silver lining.

Reply

sometimessam | 16

#6010952 - Thursday 17 July 2014 21:21

Great for OP, FYL for the friend.

By fleuretta | 19

#6010672 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:02

Small world!

By Wizardo | 33

#6010673 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:02

Why would it be 'fuck your life', granted she's a friend but she's in there for a reason. Can't feel sorry for a criminal, no exceptions. Only if she's actually innocent which they rarely are.

Reply

patrickalamo | 47

#6010695 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:31

Some are in jail awaiting a bail hearing or even their day in court.

By fleur_de_fevrier_fml | 22

#6010674 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:03

She might be more embarrassed than you about the situation.

By Baucis | 10

#6010675 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:03

Why is this an FML?

Reply

PewDiePie_Lover | 14

#6010683 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:10

-___-

By joeyl2008 | 29

#6010677 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:06

And then I found $5

Reply

A07 | 48

#6010706 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:48

Good for you mate.

Reply

teotsi | 28

#6010713 - Thursday 17 July 2014 14:02

Nobody asked...

By TorturedXeno | 27

#6010678 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:06

Could be worse. SHE could be the one working at the jail.

Reply

orbit | 22

#6010824 - Thursday 17 July 2014 17:46

like Shutter Island

By INeedAUserNamr | 13

#6010679 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:07

I don't get why this is an FML. Lots of good people go to jail for things they did. But still, it kinda sucks that your friend would be one of them.

By lesley3r3 | 22

#6010681 - Thursday 17 July 2014 13:08

That is rather awkward

Reply

SMHsohard | 22

#6010742 - Thursday 17 July 2014 15:02

I had the same thing happen when I worked Psych. Came on one day, saw a nurse I had worked with several years previously; I had the security code to open the door, she didn't. We both had a moment of "Hey, I know you!" She'd been bat-crap crazy back when I first knew her; apparently various Psych units had been her primary residence since.