Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
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Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
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Top comments
doubledutchy 15
This is actually quite useful now that you know that OP. Now you can either make your mother go to crazy places, or better yet, have fun having sex in crazy places. Twist the negative side into something you can benefit from!
anonymous_kenie 7
Sounds like its time to start fooling your mother with spoofed text messages
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Comments (126)
HueyMcLeon 6
I vote you set your mum up
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
@62 I never said the age of consent is a concept that translated to varying levels of peoples maturity, so dont put words in my mouth. And you perspective is completely subjective. If you were sheltered and werent ready even at 18, thats good for you, but i dont actually care. I started having sex at 15, and I knew all the precautions to take, because i wasnt a retard. Some people ARE ready at 15, and some people, like yourself, remain virgins into adulthood. You should probably stop telling other people how they should share their intimacy, because no matter how much of a prude you are, we're all still going to socialize and hook up, while you sit in your mother's basement drinking tea.
asherm 15
Time for mommy dearest to detach you from her breast.
TXFernwoods 26
Start reading her texts, when something big for her is coming up, **** it up! :D
mikbrooke 25
#52 - even IF the parents pay for it, it is still an invasion of privacy. mine is only in my fathers NAME because i wasnt 18 when i first went on a plan, & they needed an over 18 year old to sign the contract. i pay for it, so therefore he would have no right to go through my phone. parents wouldnt enjoy it if their children were going through their things continuously and finding out every little thing, so they shouldnt do it to their child.
tooflirty 8
So much win
Adree 15
Get an app like TextPlus or Kik, or make phone calls instead of texting
boostedc 24
Stop texting and call her :)
rajput 17
tell her that you about to have sex with your girl and she can't stay lol.
israelnotjacob 20
The more you talk the more immaturity I see. You did suggest being a certain age makes you ready which is again immature, and just because you were careful at 15 doesn't mean it was wise. So you didn't get pregnant or an STD? That just means you were lucky. Nothing more.