Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
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Top comments
doubledutchy 15
This is actually quite useful now that you know that OP. Now you can either make your mother go to crazy places, or better yet, have fun having sex in crazy places. Twist the negative side into something you can benefit from!
anonymous_kenie 7
Sounds like its time to start fooling your mother with spoofed text messages
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Comments (126)
Omni7 11
sounds like a damn sitcom
whothewhat 4
Two words "password protection"
Foxfire15 15
ydi. stop leaving your phone laying around. also, if you're undernage, keep it in your pants and you still deserve it
TallMist 32
There are plenty ways to read someone else's texts.
shanannygians07 28
Why dont you just invite your girlfriend over to "study" I'm sure your mom would never assume you were gonna have sex!
Cupcake040 17
My question is why op and their girlfriend just call each other. I highly doubt the mom records phone calls
SasquatchDeluxe 10
YDI for texting about your plans to have sex.
Metallica36176 16
Yeah I agree but it'd pretty bad you have to do that because your mother isn't respecting your privacy (although age and everything has a lot to do with it). Try deleting your texts as you go...sorry OP.
weveallbeenthere 30
awesome mom.
fckertwat 2
I cannot believe your own mother **** blocked you!! so awful
gilliaga73 18
Can I just put it out there that we don't know how old OP is? Sure, he/she says mom has to "drop by" to ruin things, but maybe that's because OP lives with dad. If OP is 14 or 15 (or, it's scarily possible, younger), I'm willing to say thank goodness mom is being proactive about protecting her kid.
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
15 isnt that bad if he recieved the sex ed that he should have.. 14 is definitely too young though. Depends how mature and how knowledgable they are.
limabeans101029 20
Or it could be because OP lives by himself. Maybe his mom is just way too clingy.