Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when... - FML

By cammy123 - 8/5/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML

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Fear factor

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Business savvy

By Groped - 2/4/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

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By Fml - 12/4/2013 05:05 - United States - Lynn

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

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By anonymous - 5/9/2012 13:51 - Australia - Mittagong

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

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By un_christmas - 25/12/2012 06:41 - Malaysia - Petaling Jaya

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

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By SummerJob - 6/9/2012 16:51

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/8/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that one of my subordinates, who is whiny, incompetent, undermining, the definition of passive-aggressive and stupid, was given a pay raise. She now makes more than me. My boss values a complete moron over me. FML

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By chunderful202 - 24/12/2012 08:46 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

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By ohnolunch - 5/3/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

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By yum. - 10/4/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

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By lumi - 24/6/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML

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By Numb - 11/4/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

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By Ms Yeins - 26/4/2019 14:00 - Belgium - Mechelen

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public toilet. When I threw away the used one and opened a new one, it turned out that it had no thread on it! I took another one out. Again, defective! It was the last one I had with me, and it was the second day of my period. FML

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By AlreadyInDebt - 26/1/2011 08:52 - United States

Today, I found out that I've been paying student fees for the wrong account. Apparently I have been paying for some other student's tuition. FML

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By 1meme129 - 24/2/2016 14:12 - United States - Denver

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/6/2012 16:38 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/12/2018 06:05

Today, I went to the phone store to get a new SIM card. The store manager went on my browser to see if my data was working. Two pages of porn popped up. FML

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By Jon - 2/4/2011 16:44 - United States

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/8/2016 17:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend crashed our car into the car ahead. He was trying to pull away from the traffic lights faster than the person next to us, a ten-year-old kid on a bicycle. FML

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By fredfredburger - 25/6/2014 17:45 - United States - Imperial

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

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By Sad Student - 3/2/2014 03:26 - Canada - Toronto

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

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By NotThatButton - 11/9/2015 01:59 - United States - Missoula

Today, I accidentally deleted my landlord's pictures of his child's graduation, girlfriend, daughter and vacation when he asked me to delete a video off his phone. FML

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By myfavoritesgouda - 24/6/2013 05:20 - United States - Manhasset

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

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By Lazyuser2849 - 1/6/2016 05:02 - United States - Arlington

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. To this, she said, "You need to meet more people."FML

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By Username - 9/8/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

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By lovehurts - 10/2/2016 02:29 - United States - New Baltimore

Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/6/2017 20:00

Today, my mom told me I couldn't be best man at my best friend's wedding. I'm 25. FML

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By lollerskate - 16/1/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

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By Abu - 25/12/2016 10:05

Today I broke my glasses beyond repair. I am very nearly legally blind. I get my glasses at Walmart and today, Christmas, is the only day out of the entire year that they are closed. Merry Christmas to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/6/2019 02:30

Today, after 2 years of paying off the insurance fees after an accident, I got rear-ended. It was the same driver who crashed into me the first time. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/4/2013 01:14 - United States - Pearland

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

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By ivyleaguebabe - 3/6/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML

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By the_music_major - 19/10/2010 01:09 - United States

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

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By oliviakelly25 - 9/10/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML

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By photonut13 - 15/7/2010 10:52 - Canada

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

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By Rajin - 23/3/2009 20:38 - Canada

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

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By quarantine15 - 28/4/2020 14:00

Oh, so sexy

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

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By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

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By no good deed... etc - 16/10/2017 04:30

Well Well Well

Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML

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By supercharged - 5/4/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

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By Username - 31/3/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

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Top comments

By ben26_fml | 0

#179360 - Friday 8 May 2009 12:20

why did so many ppl say YDI? how the fuck is anyone supposed to know whether a mirror is normal or a two-way. and at target, who would know target has a two way mirror...FYL

By that_guy321 | 2

#179441 - Friday 8 May 2009 13:43

EVERY target i've ever been to has those two way mirrors. You can even see through them if you look closely enough.
plus, you were on your way to the bathroom, couldn't you have done it there?
YDI.

Comments

By brasileirinha | 0

#179348 - Friday 8 May 2009 12:13

Oh wow that sucks. But maybe YDI for not checking for a two way mirror (press your finger up to the mirror...if the reflection touches your finger it's a two way mirror...if not, then it's a normal mirror). :D

Reply

nates0210 | 0

#839289 - Wednesday 10 February 2010 0:08

you're an idiot number 1. OP did you look good?

Reply

lolpwntdumass | 0

#853763 - Sunday 14 February 2010 5:01

It's a one way mirror not a two way mirror you dumb shit.
And your not gonna die. This isn't an fml.

Reply

Moooooo_fml | 0

#979749 - Wednesday 14 April 2010 11:06

usually if u press ur finge to any mirror the reflection touches ur finger :/ have no brain much? yea I think so.

Reply

indiecindyx | 0

#981052 - Saturday 17 April 2010 21:21

for gods sake stop taking this so seriously. It's not as if every FML has to be sinister and horrible.
p.s - Bad luck OP !

Reply

toqwert | 0

#3059454 - Sunday 7 August 2011 21:21

the cow goes mooooo and actually it is true, that's how you tell. might wanna check you vision there.

Reply

Invasion976 | 6

#5459558 - Monday 22 April 2013 8:17

Both mean the same damn thing.

Reply

MattM95 | 16

#5950369 - Monday 19 May 2014 21:03

Well #119 if you remember your science classes you would know what he means. If you put your finger against a normal mirror in your house you would see a gap between your finger and the reflection. If it's a two way mirror you would see your finger connected to the reflection (meaning there is no gap). But I don't think it's OP's fault. Who the hell would check a mirror in the open? Maybe a washroom mirror because you want privacy.

By ola_ | 0

#179349 - Friday 8 May 2009 12:13

Ok the only thing that is, is embarrassing.

If you think your life is fu*ked because of that...you're a retard.

By onigiriqueen | 0

#179353 - Friday 8 May 2009 12:15

You ARE a retard. No doubt.

By plethora | 3

#179359 - Friday 8 May 2009 12:20

#1: What?

By ben26_fml | 0

#179360 - Friday 8 May 2009 12:20

why did so many ppl say YDI? how the fuck is anyone supposed to know whether a mirror is normal or a two-way. and at target, who would know target has a two way mirror...FYL

Reply

AnonymousUsers | 14

#5791270 - Saturday 14 December 2013 3:59

Most targets do

By DeadmansInkXXX | 0

#179382 - Friday 8 May 2009 12:37

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOL

By hk_fml | 9

#179414 - Friday 8 May 2009 13:02

LOL.
Oh man. That is so embarrassing.

By sophiepento | 0

#179418 - Friday 8 May 2009 13:04

It wouldnt be that embarrassing minus the nose checking

By ohhhhshizzz | 0

#179420 - Friday 8 May 2009 13:08

#1: What? Your finger touches your reflection if it IS a mirror.
@OP: IDK why so many people say you deserved it, who would know that Target had a two-way mirror, where the hell?

By Kissusexy1010 | 0

#179422 - Friday 8 May 2009 13:13

Lmao good for u hahahahahahahaha