Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
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Top comments
doubledutchy 15
This is actually quite useful now that you know that OP. Now you can either make your mother go to crazy places, or better yet, have fun having sex in crazy places. Twist the negative side into something you can benefit from!
anonymous_kenie 7
Sounds like its time to start fooling your mother with spoofed text messages
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Comments (126)
ijulez 14
what a ****-blocker
Inked0803 12
If you're old enough to be having sex than it's probably time for your mom to stay out of your private life
That1One1Chick 24
Don't plan sex. Then it's not special. Just let it happen naturally. That still sucks OP, sorry :/
limabeans101029 20
95, I think 85 was a little too blunt about it but I do kind of agree with them. 15 is generally a bit young, but at 16 some people are actually mature enough to have sex and take all the right precautions. I started having sex when I was 16, and made sure I was on birth control and that I knew how to take it properly before I started having sex. You can think what you want, but I can assure you that I'm perfectly mature enough to have sex.
incoherentrmblr 21
Time to call AC/DC about their Dirty Deeds special...
cchuckcloninger 5
Why would she do that? And why are you posting it like a kid getting his first piece of ass?
Daydreamer4466 6
Yo you've been **** block by your mom. Dude know that sucks.
sonnyrosa 32
Lock. Your. Phone.
jamalamadingdong 18
Since it says "dropping by" I assume he has his own place, why not just lock/not answer the door??
spookycat32 6
What's the reverse of an Oedipus complex? Creepy ...