Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
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Top comments
doubledutchy 15
This is actually quite useful now that you know that OP. Now you can either make your mother go to crazy places, or better yet, have fun having sex in crazy places. Twist the negative side into something you can benefit from!
anonymous_kenie 7
Sounds like its time to start fooling your mother with spoofed text messages
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Comments (126)
poisongirl708 11
Maybe she is jealous because she doesn't get any dick. Might wanna ask he why she keeps doing
scice03 8
Momma's boy 100%. Drop by? That means she doesn't live with you. Why is she reading your texts? Because you are a Momma's boy!!!!
TallMist 32
Or maybe, just maybe, OP's mom is a control freak and found a way to read OP's messages without looking at his/her phone. And speaking of him/her, how do you know the OP is a boy? It says nowhere on the FML.
Readoll 13
Next time, just proceed to go to your room with your girlfriend and have sex, leaving your mother in the living room to wait
lonelyman36 12
One, why in the world would you text about that, and two why wouldn't you password lock your phone if your mom is so nosy?
mikbrooke 25
#40 - they could just be messaging each other about visiting the boys house, & the mother assumes they might be going to have sex so decides to drop by.
MidnaLink 33
lock your phone and tell her to lay off!
magiczebra 9
I don't think the mom is reading the texts off his physical phone. It's very possible OP has an iPhone and the mom is reading the texts through iMessage.
worldclassrager 39
I hate that...phone locks for the win...
mattrd_fml 31
seeing how she has to 'drop by' she must not live with you. how is she reading your texts? FYL OP
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
18? No, 16. Its only 18 in certain states in the US, in the rest of it, and the UK, Australia and most other places its 16. In fact in Europe alot of places are 15 and 14. Try and look out of your little conservative town for once, because we dont live there (fortunately). And if you are too much of a moron to have sex without "bad things" happening after then thats too bad for you, but normal people know how to use birth control.
mikbrooke 25
#33 - there are probably multiple ways a mother could find access to her childrens messages WITHOUT the plan being in her name. my plan is in my fathers name and im over 18, but that doesnt mean he has the right to go looking through my phone or anything like that. its just rude, & everyone has a right to privacy especially in their own house.