Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML
Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
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Top comments
nebula748 14
What did you expect?
docscientist 10
I guess you should have him eat out more.
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Comments (356)
zemo999 0
need another dishwasher???
MegamiKaosu 28
I agree since it's my job @~@;;
ilaughatchu 0
sorry to say but YDI... I mean if you don't like doing it don't offer it up... apparently he likes it so yer doin something right... =~} but hey like was said above... turn about IS fair play... have him give you something you like... still tho YDI.. wish someone would make a deal of that nature with me...
tarvinwashere 0
how is this an FML? is giving blow jobs really such a horrible thing? I love giving them
cory0220 0
smart man!!!!
sparklywhirligig 0
You deserve it for making promises you can't keep. I don't understand why people do that. If you didn't really mean it why would you even offer it? Anyway, your boyfriend shoudn't have to run through hoops for you just to get a ********. How would you feel if your boyfriend put conditions on sex the way you are?
Skatejock21 0
she would probably feel like trash. If she was my girlfriend and offered a ******** for dish duty, sure I'd take it, but then I'd turn it around on her to clean my room, if she got sick of it that is, as she indirectly states on her FML; then I'd lie about it and not give her whatever in return for cleaning my room. And I do agree, if she didn't mean it, why offer it. She obviously doesn't know a whole lot about guys.
Vaesive 0
Dont make promises you can't keep. Ydi
tcrunit 0
that's your fault you should know your boyfriend by now
JocknMyFresh 0
Do u have a sister???
Shiden 3
awwwwwwwww, yeah! bow-chica-wow-wow!