Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
Today, I flew into Denver. Never having been here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
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Top comments
talloctopus 7
Hope he made a wish first.
pinkpixie06 11
Ugh...*heebie jeebie dance*
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Comments (122)
The_1_One 3
absolutely GROOSSSS.
Enslaved 36
Ugh! I thought he was going to blow it and make a wish or something, not eat it! :P
MeikoD 4
He's actually a robot, fueled by keratin... There was an incident at the hairdressers and now he's banned... Don't judge him!
charvisioku 22
Sounds like something Salad Fingers would do.
Reaper1984 13
I like rusty spoooooons..... lmao
TweakerD 4
He was just screwing with you (hopefully). You should have found some other spare hairs and given them to him...
buckdharma 37
Maybe the salty peanuts make him thirsty.
thesingerfml 1
That was the best fml I've read in years.
rasta76 9
i guess this is his definition of a tongue lashing.
buddy51 23
Sing the score of les mis to him while feeding him plucked body hair...
mandachea10 8
I think that was the best thing to suffice you being inside him at the moment...hah oh god.