Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
Today, I flew into Denver. Never having been here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
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Top comments
talloctopus 7
Hope he made a wish first.
pinkpixie06 11
Ugh...*heebie jeebie dance*
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Comments (122)
docweeks 5
This sounds like the person was suffering from Trichotillomania, an impulse control disorder where the person pulls out and occasionally eats his/other's hair. They might have been nervous about the flight triggering the impulse.
jewelz1012 11
He's the freak of the week in my book
radiocaf 29
I just...... What?!
Quicksilver23_fml 2
That's really fu##%ed up!
bubba142 5
Creeer!
wtffml1979 22
My first thought......he wouldn't have put his hand on my face. That's just me.....
jonsey974 3
Commence instant beat the shit out of the weirdo until they're forced to land the plane.
AgentClassyPants 9
It's not his fault you have delicious eyelashes...
laneka98 6
he was testing your DNA to see if you are human or not.
HotProblems1998 4
WTF?! I'd flip out and demand he or I be moved at once!