Unflattered

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 103

Spicy

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 44

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 112

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 124

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Walk on the wild side

The sweet smell of success

09/02/2014 07:12

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 566

You deserved it 13 766

20/11/2011 23:51

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 715

You deserved it 45 956

11/07/2014 06:04

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 636

You deserved it 4 734

07/10/2016 07:18

Today, I found out after $200 worth of checks and tests, three rugs being ruined from her peeing and pooping on them, that my cat isn't sick. She just has really bad separation anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 311

You deserved it 1 156

16/05/2012 08:20

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 746

You deserved it 3 908

04/12/2009 12:48

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 238

You deserved it 6 813

18/03/2012 00:48

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 810

You deserved it 2 859

It's frostbite time!

By Freezing - 24/03/2020 05:06

Today, the whole upstairs was so cold that I had to wear mittens inside. When I asked my parents why it was so cold, they replied that to save money, they had decided not to heat the upstairs, since "nobody is ever up there, anyway." My bedroom is upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 129

Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Lolabunny - 21/08/2018 04:00

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 749

You deserved it 330

28/02/2010 13:16

Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 150

You deserved it 29 872

02/05/2016 06:51

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 238

You deserved it 1 519

14/06/2012 16:28

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 576

You deserved it 6 565

15/12/2018 05:00

Today, in front of my friends, my mom came after me with a pair of tweezers exclaiming "there's just a couple of hairs on your chin that need to be plucked." I'm a 14 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 515

You deserved it 329

Toxic

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 22:00

Today, I realized my husband of 30 years consistently makes fun of me in front of friends, and he gets mad when I express opinions contrary to his. I don't think he respects me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 136

02/11/2016 02:55

Today, while teaching my history class, a girl asked me where North America was. She lives in North America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 558

You deserved it 680

04/08/2016 18:53

Today, I was peacefully using the toilet when I heard a familiar crunching sound behind me. After shooting up and frantically looking around, I hesitantly closed the toilet lid - just in time to see a black cockroach slip into a crevice of the toilet. The thing was close enough to go up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 517

You deserved it 1 141

04/04/2015 01:57

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 274

You deserved it 4 347

23/11/2013 10:48

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 730

You deserved it 6 784

21/03/2011 03:34

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 858

You deserved it 6 680

28/02/2015 18:11

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 616

You deserved it 62 350

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 20/11/2020 08:08

Today, it's been a week since my boyfriend has touched me or even paid attention to me, because I refuse to buy him a car. I do everything for him and he owes me $3,000 already, but when I cried about using my savings on him, he said, "That’s not my problem.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 589

28/08/2011 06:54

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 920

You deserved it 6 347

17/06/2011 04:50

Today, I was passed over for the job of my dreams. I now have to watch as a girl I have on Facebook - a total moron - boasts daily about scoring the position instead. Turns out the interviewer was her uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 3 011

17/10/2010 16:52

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 262

You deserved it 6 161

22/04/2009 19:42

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 909

You deserved it 9 437

Family values

By family sucks! - 06/10/2021 23:00

Today, I ran into my aunt I hadn’t seen since I was a child. My mom told me she took off and stopped speaking to everyone. After lunch, I asked her why she left. She said our whole family ostracized her for aborting her abusive husband’s baby and divorcing him instead of "making it work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 72

15/01/2019 14:00

Today, I got a surround sound system from my best friend. I didn't even have it hooked up when the sub woofer fell to the floor and smashed. I don't know if it can be fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 359

09/11/2018 16:00

Today, I received an email from a shipping company telling me they had dropped off a package of expensive electronics at the front door. Too bad someone stole it before I made it to the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 751

You deserved it 162

06/08/2018 23:30

Today, I discovered that I am pregnant. I questioned my boyfriend and he admitted to not using a condom because he thought we were just doing "practice sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 862

You deserved it 1 676

Go forth and NOT multiply

By MirandaKristine - 06/03/2020 12:31

Today, my dad handed me my refilled birth control prescription. I thanked him, and he replied, "Well, God forbid you run out and reproduce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 301

03/12/2015 05:33

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 188

You deserved it 2 612

14/05/2010 01:11

Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 770

You deserved it 46 173

17/11/2018 13:30

Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 322

You deserved it 277

22/05/2010 07:03

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 364

You deserved it 25 143

08/08/2017 13:00

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick me up from work. We work at the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 021

You deserved it 381

19/02/2011 07:57

Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end of the couch. This is the closest I've been to a pair of boobs in 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 334

You deserved it 6 880

More proof the system is broken

By Anonymous - 27/06/2020 20:04

Today, my younger sister, who lives at home and worked 1 day a week at the gym, got her unemployment card. I work at a hospital, on the frontlines, with COVID-19 patients. I don't get hazard pay. She now makes more than me in a week by sitting at home watching Netflix, while I risk my life every day to help people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 364

You deserved it 178

17/02/2011 06:50

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 488

You deserved it 4 966

06/05/2019 00:00

Today, I discovered my girlfriend's secret blog, where all she does is vent about how much she cheats on me and hates me, but will never leave me because she can’t afford to. Her followers love and support these actions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 195

Headfucked

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 17:00

Today, after two weeks of migraines, my doctor informed me that bowel movements are one my triggers. This means every time I shit, I will have a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 90

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Top comments

skippydoda 32

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Monday 28 October 2019 0:30

Once in the air, you can always ask the flight attendants if you can move.

sherri_baby88 35

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Monday 28 October 2019 4:32

FYL, but I bet that guy was having a great day. Lol

Comments

skippydoda 32

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Monday 28 October 2019 0:30

Once in the air, you can always ask the flight attendants if you can move.

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 28 October 2019 1:30

Why wasn't it flattering? So, what happened on the plane?

sherri_baby88 35

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Monday 28 October 2019 4:32

FYL, but I bet that guy was having a great day. Lol