By MymB612 - 24/12/2013 06:50 - Lebanon - Beirut
MymB612 tells us more.
I didn't realize I wasn't signed in when I posted that one. It's cool that got published! I love making handmade gifts, I think it's so much more personal and intimate to make something for someone that you know they'll appreciate. And by the way, to the meanies, I am indeed broke right now but that wasn't why I made handmade presents (I was very comfortable financially last year and made homemade stuff anyway, it's about the time and effort I choose to put into them, not their monetary value). Also, I am not trying to push my views on anyone, except maybe the belief that the more time and effort you put into something, the more it's worth. I'm an atheist lesbian by the way, and I still spent a month making gifts for a holiday I don't even believe in for my mostly uber-religious homophobic family, just because I know it would make them happy. So don't tell me about pushing my views on anyone, I respect their freedom of opinion just as I expect them to respect mine (not an easy feat in Lebanon, but I digress). Also, no, I am not making them home-made manure or a frame with some stickers on. I made them balms and lotions, personalized to their needs. Odorless moisturizing cream for my pregnant cousin. Natural heating pad for my grandma with arthiritis. Shaving cream for my uncle who has super sensitive skin. Foot scrub for my brother who spends his work hours on his feet. Healing balm for cuts and burns for my cousin who spends his weekends camping and hiking. Stuff like that. About my mom, the reason she gave me that ill-worded comment is because last year I had knitted a hat for my grandma, which turned out to be too small for her head (I had miscalculated), and also I had made a scented cooling pad that leaked a few days later, so she insisted that had I bought store-bought items there would be no problem. Yeah, she's like that. But hey, I understand this particular holiday is supposed to be about forgiveness, is it not? So I dealt with her as follows: I made her a gift anyway (Topical pain-relief cream for her sore muscles, she had a surgery last year and the muscles on her back hurt in the cold) but I didn't put it under the tree with the rest of the presents. She seemed so vexed and saddened. I went and talked to her and told her that I chose not to give her a present, since she doesn't appreciate the time and thought I put into them (and money, materials, hello). She apologized for her comment and said I was right and she was being mean because she had a very tough day and lashed out at me. Then she told me my presents for everyone were awesome, and I gave her hers. Made her doubly smile! So, all is well that ends well I suppose. I made sure she knew that she hurt my feelings, and got aknowledgment and an apology. What more can I ask for? Wow this post turned out huge, sorry for the eyesore :P Thank for the hilarious comments and warm support. Made me glad to feel that people still remember what they are celebrating, and appreciate the thought behind gifts more than their monetary value. Oh and for the couple of Lebanese peeps I saw in the comments, yen3ad 3laykon w 3a 3yelkon bel kheir :)
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Show it anywayOP, your mother doesn't want eco-shit.. So get her some real shit hand-made by you, yourself.
Im from Lebanon too! Never thought I would see a post from here!
If she's going to be an ungrateful bitch I wouldn't get her anything
It's the thought that counts..?
what an amazing mom. ..
Yeah the thought counts, but it is disappointing sometimes to open up a gift like that after you spend money on that person.
agreed. let's be real if any if us got that we'd feel the same way. op's moms is just being upfront about it.
And who says they aren't spending money on materials?
well maybe you should ;) its not everyday that we see a lebanese FML... i never thought i would.
It's sweet that OP spent time and effort hand-making gifts, but the point of giving gifts is to get your giftee something that THEY would appreciate rather than something you want to give them.
Christmas is about giving not receiving. stop worrying about what you get and focus on the true meaning.
you're right op's a cheap bastard no one wants that shit
She's brutal. Sounds legitimate though. Handmade Eco shit doesn't sound like a very good Christmas present.
I once made my boyfriend some nice pillow and duvet covers. I put some time onto them, making them in material he would like and also thought about how I could make them as high quality and easy to take on and off as possible, paying attention to details. He was really happy and even teared up, saying no one has ever taken time to make him something like that. He really liked my "home-made eco shit" and has been using it very often for soon two years.
that's really nice 26! I honestly wouldn't bother giving such an ungrateful person as OPs mom anything for Christmas. And I wouldn't even feel bad about it.
2- Believe it or not, but some people think Christmas is more than the gifts you get
34 I see it as if you are giving a gift you should be thoughtful of who the gift is for. So knowing that the people you are giving gifts don't share the eco-outlook that OP does, yet OP still gives those gifts is really thoughtless and selfish. It has obviously happened previously and I think their mother has a reason to make a comment. Although mother wasn't tactful and quite rude, the basis of the point is still valid.
For my anniversary with my boyfriend, I made a him a little book and titled it "100 things I love about you". When I gave it to him, he grabbed it and ran to the couch in excitement to read it. I've never taken my time to do something like that because I'd rather just buy it, and he knew that which made it even more special :)
I love when people make me things from the heart. I got a personalized journal with messages from all my friends, one year, and it brings tears to my eyes sometimes when I read it now. But I have had people who were terrible at gift giving. Some people are not good at crafts and unless someone is a child then a lot of people view poorly made crafts as junk they don't want. While I am sure Op tries, if her stuff is forcing a belief on someone, really ugly and tacky, or people have asked her not to give them those things before... and she continues to do it, then that is just being stubborn and selfish. Better to make them a card and not get them a present, if they dislike it.
I think what mom is trying to say is try getting (or making) everyone something they like/can enjoy for themselves. Not just something that suits to your likes.
Wow that's incredibly ungrateful. Don't get her anything at all OP.
I don't think she wanted her daughters "eco-shit" anyway.
Well if it makes you feel any better OP, there ARE people like me who appreciate handmade gifts.
Yeah, who needs a high-tech phone or a new gaming system when you could get an amazing Christmas card or a nice picture frame made out of love.
50 - Since when is Christmas about the gift's monetary value? Nobody HAS to get you jack shit. If Christmas is about the gift, maybe you need to rethink your values.
Another person bought by marketing and media. I bet you only look forward to thanksgiving for Black Friday too. The holidays are not about gifts and the monetary value of said gift does not equate to love. Christmas is about spending time with family and friends, being with people you love and people who love you back. Marketing has become a black stain on the holidays.
50's sarcasm doesn't change the fact that what he said makes it seem like he only likes Christmas for the gifts.
A lot of people do appreciate home made gifts. However, if they buy you something expensive, you should do a little more than make them cookies.
What if OP can't afford to buy something expensive? Is that what it is all about? Making sure we all spend as much as each other no matter our situation?
8- exactly! I hate people like 5 who think that Christmas is easy for everyone, and that it's all about gifts and gifts and more gifts. OP put a lit of time and thought into that present, doesn't that count?
I read "do a little more" as exactly that. DO more, not buy more. Even if you have little or no money to spend, you can always do something more.
Make sure you give her a handmade gift just to piss her off lol
or maybe a rain simulation..... while she's asleep.
It's this attitude exactly that has turned the holidays into consumerism and not thoughtfulness. Good for you that you put time and energy into what you are giving the people you love, and don't allow one negative person's opinion poison your take on what it means to give.
Rachel from friends.
I don't agree with your mother that gifts should have a price and be returnable. I make people gifts all the time. But if you are making people deodorant, soaps, and house hold cleaners trying to push your tree hugging hippy ways on to your family. Or if you're are too cheap to buy them gifts then your Mother has a point.
Absolutely agree. Handmade gifts are thoughtful and awesome to receive, but not so much when they come with a belief system you're shoving on someone.
Maybe because environmentalism isn't everyone's religion.
Even ignorance and bullshit can be returned back in full measure.
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I wish I knew you, I would LOVE to get homemade stuff as a gift! (I'm not being sarcastic, I love creativity and that's really cool!)
Wow that's incredibly ungrateful. Don't get her anything at all OP.