Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, a customer came to make a return - a bag full of clothes without tags that weren’t from our store. I kindly told her she couldn’t return them. She had a full blown meltdown, pulled down her pants, urinated and defecated on the ground. Security escorted her out. My coworker and I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML
Today, I found out my younger sister is too cheap to buy her own sex toys, so she has been borrowing mine. I clean mine thoroughly after use but apparently she just puts them back in the box after she’s done, while they’re still wet. Not gonna lie, I threw up a little after she'd admitted it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Linkerdoodles 15
Oh my god... how are some people this stupid? That's disgusting.
MrConcise 35
Are you telling me there's no market for used sex toys? There's generally a fetish for everything - no matter how creepy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
aikhan 17
its none of my business but dude try finding another job.
buckdharma 38
If the plug doesn't fit you must remit.
Skittlezluva 6
Ewww
M3DIC4T3 29
I'm trying to picture how this worked. Were they just walking down the street with their obviously used sex toys out on display?! Did they hand them to OP like that?
sugarbear0727 19
I hate it when people try to return items that are final sale products. We get a lot of mad people when they try to return cigarettes. Sorry, all tobaccoo sales are final, and under state law we are not allowed to accept them as a return. But people yell and bitch. We just say that they need to leave the store and if they don't, the police will be called.
Megan639 16
You sorta diserve it just for working at a **** storr. I mean, surely you expect this kind of behavior...
TVKill3r 15
No they don't. A job is a job and the store says no refunds. She doesn't deserve this kind of treatment.
FweakofCydonia 40
Sometimes people don't have much of a choice over where they work, so you can't blame OP for working in a sex shop. Someone's gotta pay the bills.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Why does she deserve that treatment just because she works at a store that sells sex toys? First of all, just like how sales on undergarments are final, it should be common sense that sales on sex toys are the same, whether they've been used or not, especially the former. Second, she's a legal adult, she can work wherever she pleases. And like the guy above me said, this could've been the only job she could find, and picked it since it is better than nothing.
BlueFlatts 20
Tell them someone else already returned the items that they bought from the "discount" section. April Fools!
pedinhuh 23
I think you need a better job LOL!!
_wraith 15
"Well I could buy this new flesh light here, OR I could buy the cheaper, pre-owned one. I think I'll go with pre-owned. " - Said no one ever. If you can't return underwear, the next logical leap would be you can't return sex toys. I can't believe that (not only) were people trying, but then getting upset over it!
Jacksparrow72 21
Find a new line of work?