Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Insult of the week
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
Memory loss
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Are you lost?
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Don't engage with the nutjobs
Today, a customer came to make a return - a bag full of clothes without tags that weren’t from our store. I kindly told her she couldn’t return them. She had a full blown meltdown, pulled down her pants, urinated and defecated on the ground. Security escorted her out. My coworker and I had to clean it up. FML
Denied
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML
Sharing is caring
Today, I found out my younger sister is too cheap to buy her own sex toys, so she has been borrowing mine. I clean mine thoroughly after use but apparently she just puts them back in the box after she’s done, while they’re still wet. Not gonna lie, I threw up a little after she'd admitted it. FML
Top comments
Linkerdoodles 15
Oh my god... how are some people this stupid? That's disgusting.
MrConcise 35
Are you telling me there's no market for used sex toys? There's generally a fetish for everything - no matter how creepy.
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Comments (137)
bluedog444 2
HAHAHA GOD OH
Iflabz 11
A woman in a sex shop, well....
magnetic_aura 26
Ew, I used to work at a video store and so many people would return their adult movie rentals in similar condition. The difference was, I had to accept them and clean them.
breaking6883 17
Eeeeew should've donated the Semen to a sperm bank for revenge! >:D
NostalgiaFreak9 43
This is one of those stories where as soon as you begin reading it, you'll never want to complain about your job again (unless you also work at a sex store with mentally unstable customers).