Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, a customer came to make a return - a bag full of clothes without tags that weren’t from our store. I kindly told her she couldn’t return them. She had a full blown meltdown, pulled down her pants, urinated and defecated on the ground. Security escorted her out. My coworker and I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML
Today, I found out my younger sister is too cheap to buy her own sex toys, so she has been borrowing mine. I clean mine thoroughly after use but apparently she just puts them back in the box after she’s done, while they’re still wet. Not gonna lie, I threw up a little after she'd admitted it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Linkerdoodles 15
Oh my god... how are some people this stupid? That's disgusting.
MrConcise 35
Are you telling me there's no market for used sex toys? There's generally a fetish for everything - no matter how creepy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
little_sailor 8
I work at a **** store as well. I understand your situation all too well. The customers can be maddening.
akiahara 14
I only had this happen a couple times when I worked in an adult store. Sans semen, of course.
perdix 31
#32, yeah, but you know the rule of **** retail, "The customer always comes first."
McNikk 15
Am I the only one that finds it odd that a group of six all came to return a bunch of used sex toys at the same time?...
noelasis94 18
I voted you deserved this because working in an adult store is kind of asking for this kind of thing.
Shenannigoats 16
No, it isn't. Better luck next time.
Enslaved 38
So what you're saying is, there's no way I can get a refund if I'm not satisfied with my vibrating duck? :P
perdix 31
#38, yes, but you can sell it on Craigslist. I go on there often to buy Florida Panthers tickets, "sex toys" are right next to "tickets" in the buy/sell section, so one stray mouse click and you might find a buyer . . .
DjeePee 25
I feel slightly ashamed while visiting a sex shop and buying toys, I really don't get how someone dares to show his dried-up semen to anyone...
perdix 31
#42, really?!?! You haven't met any exhibitionists? Some wear the "red badge of courage" while others wear the "white crust of romantic conquest." Stephen Crane's sequel didn't sell very well.
Helped 35
Agreed, that's just disgusting.
Helped 35
That's just gross.
claudzzzz 5
i work retail and yes, there are people that try to return used bras and underwear....and socks and even shoes that smell disgusting....people are ******* gross
jem970 19
I would promptly gag and then tell them to get out. That is so nasty. "Why wont you take back my penis pump with all my cum in it?! WHY?" People amaze me these days. How does the human race endure with these idiots free on our streets?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Iam never ever going to eat and read this fml at the same time.
\ 28
I suppose they could be returned if they were unopened?