By godhatesme - 10/12/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 121
You deserved it 20 717

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Some guys actually enjoy sleeping on the couch. It's kinda like camping.....


i have a perfectly reasonable explanation to this. his wife was making a snow angle in the driveway before BAM :D

Could you, by any chance, explain what a "snow angle" is? Angel***

Oh goody. The Grammar Nazis have invaded. ANNYWAYS OP, I could definitely see how you could do that! She could have been wearing very neutral colors and blended in!

26 or "kylaisaBITCH" (haha i see why) don't try to make yourself look witty or funny. we both know what I'm trying to say. unless you're an idiot, i'm pretty sure you can comprehend the word. kthxbai! cheerz!

Damn_Hippster 11

I like how OP tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal at first by using the word "slightly"

The only time I see Grammar nazi'ing to be appropriate is if someone is dumb enough to mix up your and you're.

The worst is when someone actually types out they're instead of there/their.

n_epic_fail 14

"slightly bumped into something" OP you probably ran her ass over.

maybe she's a Ninja, although then she might have dodged it.

U can make this work if she's been trying to lose weight say " uve lost so much weight I didn't see u there"

XxDaniEmoxX 0

I wonder how "slightly" op hit her.

Seriously? Y'all have some arbitrary rules about which homophones should be used correctly and which ones we should just let go? Snow angles is too funny to let go.

The real issue here is referring to your wife as "something" and not "someone". Women are not objects.

106 - it's obviously to build suspense into the FML

Rapt0rJesus 0

Now you know why love is blind.

Why do people on FML always worry about, if they spelled something wrong and if so they go HAM on them. FYL if you care I spelled this wrong. Stfu n smc

. . . .____ __(. . . . . )====: : / LOLTANK O.O.O.O.O/ beep beep

106 - He bumped "something" only to find out it was his wife.. I think he would have said he bumped into her from the beginning. Anyways; "You're the greatest THING that's ever happened to me..." < How about 'thing' here, is it inappropriate?

rexgar2000 10

was she laying on the ground or something. and it's an accident I don't think shell kick u out ti the couch unless she's a bitch.

"Engrish" must not have been your strongest subject at school...

52 I don't think he had a "subject" at all.

Dude, he hit her with his carr.. Ovbiously theres gunna be a punishment ._.

Hey 52 at least he used it's correctly that's pretty rare

He's in the ******* army. Shut the **** up and suck your own dick.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

"Sorry, I had a foot spasm so I floored it. Not my fault, I couldn't control my foot"

bobbycorwen 5

^Fail FAIP : Flooring All Idiot People

bobbycorwen 5

You are right. I just caught that. Shoot...

Yeah if you're gonna run over your wife you got to go for broke and just floor it.

I was expecting the first reply to 3 to be from a feminazi...oh well

Some guys actually enjoy sleeping on the couch. It's kinda like camping.....

Now get: a tent, fire wood, matches, marshmellows and bear repellent or i suppose in this case wife repellent.

SpruceDread4578 13

43- I honestly read that sexually...unless that's how you meant it..idk.

daydreamer244 13
uprising_fml 0

well shit . how did you manage to pass driving school in the first place ?

Oooh hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...

torchhh 1
lenamartinovic 13

Your quote reminded me of Castle. ;)

JinxosGirl87 0

Apparently your wife's car bumping fetish didn't go as planned.

me_gusta_eso 1

10- I feel so much pity for you right now.

Awe. Mang. **** 'dem. That was funny to me..

You're lucky she didnt take an early start into digging your grave and making you sleep in it