By xBubbles38 - 18/07/2011 15:17 - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 914
You deserved it 6 263

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be careful when she steps outside—she might start to sparkle.

Bring her in the sun and ask her to explain why she is not sparkling like a glorious homosexual!


be careful when she steps outside—she might start to sparkle.

before u know it shell be sneaking out at night to watch people sleep.

No that would be Santa.

sparkle everyone to death

43 - yes, Santa. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake.."

jus let her believe it till she drinks some blood then watch her puke every were

"he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake, his name is Edward Cullen, and he's here to get you raped". xD

lovelydarlings 6

I had a sparkly experience once. This lotion I had had tiny sparkles in it and I didn't see it until I went outside to the pool. I totally felt like a vampire haha.

swimchica22 0

122 wins :D

#122, you just made my night.

actually there are such things as vampires, they just aren't like Edward Cullen- they are just people who drink blood- no they dont bite people. but I love the taste of blood

Sparkling in the sun is still a sign that she's not a vampire. If the sun nearly killed her, that would be a sign that she was.

Twilight fever very dangerous

246- your welcome, I made an account just for that comment .

mano47 0

then she'll have to clean it up hahaha

#122 rotflol zomygosh!!!!!! thts the funniest sh*t I ever seen!!!! tht just made my nite!!!!hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

#258 my bf is like that it's called bloodlust .... motha****** doesn't sparkle or look like Edward cullen lmao oh well love his nerdy ass ne way

that's what twilight will do to you! it's awful really...

I wish my parents supported me like OP supports her kids

how is OP supporting the kids? hes trying to crush the little girls dream of becoming a vampire.

doglover100 28

Twilight ruined the image of vampires. Also Edward isn't real why do people think he is?

gTOtheT 7

team Jacob!!!!!!!!!

cocofruity123 0


I'm on team Shut the %#&@ up.

Team Van Helsing! (Peter Cushing FTW!)

you guys are all wrong it's team Damon :)

Team, Enough of the God Damn Vampire Books Where One(Or Two) of the Vampires Fall in Love with a Feeble, Irritating Girl, and Glitter in the Sunlight, or Need Special Rings to be in the Sunlight(Or just any vampire that doesn't burn in the sun, I guess),team REAL MEN DONT SPARKLE LIKE FRICKEN PIXIES!!!

I'm team whoever/whatever-is-trying-to-kill-Bella-right-now.

kateheartswaffle 0


Mattxy8 5

Team dracula

cre8or99 0

c-c-c-c-combo break

tacocannon99 5

team Mario bitches

DeathMaple 3

Team guy who almost hit Bella with a van.

team Snape for the win!!

fuck both you, team Harry Potter

agaba 0

team shut the fuck up twilight sucks

agaba 0

team shut the fuck up twilight sucks

agaba 0

team shut the fuck up twilight sucks

agaba 0

team shut the fuck up twilight sucks

agaba 0

team shut the fuck up twilight sucks

gTOtheT 7

wow I got a lot of thumbs down and on my first day on this website!!!!!!

I'm liking the team Shut the $&@! up.


MsMeiriona 2

No, Team Harry "The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault" Dresden, he of the zombie t-rex! Polka will never die!

I'm on team Buffy.

Team guy who almost hit Bella with his car!

itsgen 16

whooo Edward lol

itsgen 16

which is why alot of "real" men suck in life

That is called Luck

Team Edward bitch. No. Vampires suck gets the story right (y)

turkishjew 0

turkishjew 0

twilight series you're definatly a man when u sparkle in the sunlight I'm on team bellas a hermaphrodite

Team Harry potter!

scampi08 0


Team Bob the Builder

#200 Harry Potter was AWESOME!!!! deathly hallows part 1 sucks [email protected] though :/

381. nobody likes sparkling men that can pass off as pixies.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Team Sookie from True Blood xD

Screw twilight!

hobbsicle805 0


I'm team SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

Team Vampires Suck because the girl in that movie acted better than Bella ever did. Fuck Twilight.

RocketNinjaFish 12

Team Sheldon!


bryce0110 23

Team Kristen Stewart did a horrible job acting as bella

cocofruity123 0

awww, let her dream :)

well when she's older and gets into puberty she won't be to excited about blood then

Puberty for girls usually starts at 8 and ends at 12... shes 13

#7 I agree with you, but this time it's hurting others so it needs to stopped.

kateheartswaffle 0

yeah that's definitely not fucking weird that a THIRTEEN year old is pretending to be a vampire... O_o

iLoveBoobies21 0

awww, shut the fuck up. :)

48, I'm not saying all girls do, but by age 13 most girls are going through/starting puberty already.

Well, shes 13... an age where she SHOULD know that she is NOT a vampire.

Shes a 13 year old, she should know vampires don't exist

saraheve1188 5

make her drink blood.

CommonSenseKarma 17

I'm sure cow's blood will snap her away from her fantasy. Is your husband Hannibal Lecter?

OP, is your daughter's name Drusilla ?

Who's been biting your daughter I wonder....

God your kid is stupid.

wouldn't it be nice if retards didn't reproduce

Anyone with two digit I.Q.'s should be legally required to submit to sterilization.

What about 1 digit IQs? Am I still in the clear?

kateheartswaffle 0

That kid should be sterilized. wait.. no need for that! she's stupid and won't marry/reproduce with anyone but edward! problem solved.

Mattxy8 5

86 is a boss

Blackhandles 0

I'm sensing anger in these three...

DKjazz 20

The actual average intelligence quotient is 100, thus the name quotient. Therefore, half the human race would go extinct, the stupider half. The IQ test would have to be updated to compensate, and another half will be sterilized, and so on. In short, UNNATURAL SELECT FTW!!!!!!1!

doesn't make her stupid.

140- your logic may seem okay, but he said anyone with double digit IQs, not the lower half. So no it is not an unending paradox.

DKjazz 20

Ah, touché. Then again, somebody with a single-digit IQ wouldn't last very long in the real world.

maz255 10

i like pudding

FreezeeMonsta 19


you need an I.Q. of at least fifty in order to eat or breath. if you have a single digit I.Q. than your essentially either dead or an ameoba.

you need an I.Q. of at least fifty in order to eat or breath. if you have a single digit I.Q. than your essentially either dead or an ameoba.

friedpwnadge 25

I was the 100th like. You're welcome, OCD people.

tylerrice 0